Once Upon a Mineral Town
by Kittiefan
Summary: Matt and Erica are forced to share a dying farm when they arrive at Mineral Town. Many things happen along the way, some funny, some romantic, and some even a little dangerous... Chapter 32 up!
1. Gossip in Rose Square

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOOOOOOOOOT OWN HARVEST MOON. 

This story is pure fiction and has no reference to anyone, thing or place. Unless you count the game cart.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you hear? A new farmer's gonna take over the old farm,"

"Oh really? Have you heard who he is?"

"Mayor Thomas mentioned that he was a 'she',"

"Oh my. A girl? On a farm? Is she up to it?"

"She's a city girl, she shouldn't be,"

"Some city people are good at other things too,"

"Well, she's coming today, that's for sure,"

Anna, Manna and Sasha, the town gossips, were standing in the middle of Rose Square, in which they gathered in every afternoon. Many a time they would talk about Duke's new tooth filling, but this was a different story. The girl would be arriving in an hour, or so they heard from Thomas, the town's mayor.

"Thomas says he's going to meet her, think we should just hang around outside?" asked Sasha, straightening her blue dress.

"I'd rather go in and welcome her," Manna disagreed, taking the more straight forward approach. The rest sighed but shook their heads all the same.

"Do you WANT to be caught by Thomas, Manna? I mean, he didn't really say it to me, I was more like..." sniffed Anna.

"EAVESDROPPING," interrupted Manna.

"Anyway, he said he wanted it to-"

"BE A SURPRISE," Manna interrupted again (she had a knack for annoying people).

"How did you know?" asked Anna.

"Remember? He told us he had a big surprise for us on the 31st of Winter," Sasha sighed. "Short-term memory much?"

"Never mind," Anna brushed off the remark as the three dispersed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica looked around at the desolate landscape she was supposed to own. Stones and branches littered the field with weeds springing up from any possible space. Was this really the farm that MT Realtor had sold to her? She looked at the newspaper cutting that she had brought along with her.

**HATE THE CITY? WANT A QUIET LIFE?**

**MT Realtor has the perfect place for you to go! Set in a small secluded town out in the country, this farm is perfect for anyone who loves working with animals, hates the polluted city air and just wants some rest and relaxation. Fully equipped with a farmhouse and a barn and chicken coop, large field area, river and pond! So give us a call at:**

**FARM-MT-REALTOR**

**P.S: Free dog included in the package.**

Why did she ever believe that cheesy ad. There wasn't even a picture to prove! Erica turned her head and saw a tiny man in a red suit huffing up to her.

"Are... you... t-the new... FARMEEEEEERRRRRRR?' wheezed the middle-aged man, gasping for air.

"Um... Yes?" answered Erica uncertainly, taken aback at the sight of the man.

"Ah... much better, now. Er... I am Thomas, the mayor of Mineral Town," He held out his hand to shake.

"Yes, I was just wondering... HOW COULD YOU SELL ME SUCH A LOUSY FARM? Look at the state of it!" She pointed at the muddy grass (which had ruined Erica's new boots), the snarling puppy hiding in its doghouse (after biting Erica three times; twice on the ankle and once on the knee) and the branches and stones on the field (which had tripped her up countless times).

"S-so you _d-did _believe that cheesy advertisement that Harris made me put u-up! Ehehehe!" guffawed Thomas, laughing uncontrollably. His squeaky titters made Erica fume. She picked up a nearby rock and aimed it at Thomas's head. Thomas stopped laughing and he looked up. He shrieked and ran out of the way.

"Forgive MEEEEEE! I couldn't help MYSEEEEEEEEEEEELF!" screeched Thomas, his mustache flying as he ran around the farm, Erica still pelting him with stones and maybe even a branch or two. Erica sighed and stopped throwing, which wasn't easy (she was christened 'Machine-gun Arm' during snowball fights).

"Can't I just get a refund? I mean, I sold my apartment and quit my job! I can't go back now!"

"But we've... uh..."

"You've what...?"

"Spent the money on that new television..."

"Now what am I gonna do? Now I'll have to stay on this farm and eat the weeds!"

"Yes! I've got it!" Thomas jumped up, fist flying into the air.

"Got what?" asked Erica disinterestedly.

"You can live on the farm! We'll give you lots of help, all the townspeople will. The inhabitants of this town are really friendly!"

"Oh all right..." answered Erica, but this time with a hint of enthusiasm in her voice.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	2. Chickens and Burnt Necklaces

After three days, Erica had learnt all about shipping and animals from Thomas and Zack, the shipment guy.

"Urgh... I know all about animals, but there's just one itty-bitty problem," Erica grumbled as she flopped onto the soft grass beside her field. "I don't have any."

Cookie, her dog, ran over and licked her face. Erica smiled.

"Why didn't I think of it before? I'll buy them!" She dashed out of the farm into the town.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, I'm Erica, and I..." Erica started as she pushed open the door to the blacksmith's.

"Is this what you call a 'necklace'? What did you use to make it? Huh? Junk ore?" The old man who was sitting behind the counter exploded.

"Of course I used orichalc ore! It only turned out that way because of WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO!" A boy about a year older than Erica was shouting at the old man. He wore a blue cap and had blonde hair; most of the time half of his face was hidden by it. A burnt string of what looked like jewels lay on the desk. It didn't look all that horrible, honestly.

The boy turned around.

"What do you want?" He snarled, his teeth gritted.

"Gray! How dare you be rude to a customer!" The man reprimanded him sharply and turned to me. "Haven't seen you around before. Are you the one..."

"Yeah, the farm, y'know," Erica shrugged. Gray glared at her and stomped out of the room, she could almost see smoke coming out of his ears.

"Oh, don't mind him. Whaddaya want? We have tool upgrading, brushes, shears, milkers, jewelry - not that, of course," The blacksmith pushed the failed necklace off the table. "Makers, of course, only if you have the right ore...by the way, I'm Saibara,"

"Oh... great," Erica beamed.

"So, are you gonna buy anything or just stand there?" he asked.

"Oh, I was just about to leave," She muttered turning for the door. She wrenched it open and tiptoed out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Jeez... hope I don't run into them ag - what the?" Erica gasped as a small white chicken squawked and landed in her arms. "What?"

"Curly! There you are!" A girl of about seventeen with fluffy pink hair ran up to Erica.

"My name's not Curly," Erica said curtly, putting the chicken down.

"Oh. I mean, I was talking to the chicken!" The girl picked up the chicken and tucked it under her arm. "By the way, who are you?"

"I... um, took over the farm. Erica," Erica held up her hand.

"Popuri," She shook it. "We own a chicken farm. Do you like chickens?"

"Yeah," _Especially fried_, she thought.

"Really? Great! You know how to take care of chickens, dontcha?" Popuri asked, squinting at Erica suspisciously. Erica nodded.

"Good. So, you wanna buy one," Popuri questioned, looking at the chicken under her arm.

"Yeah, I mean, no, wait, how much is one?"

"1500G. They lay eggs everyday which can be shipped," she answered. "Good! Hey mom! Rick!"

_Oh boy, MORE chicken freaks,_ Erica sighed.


	3. His Dad Ate Grow

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To those that reviewed: THANKS SO MUCH! It's my first fanfic, so now I know what it feels like to be reviewed. Ahhh, the joy! To know that people like your fanfics! sniff And I promise to make my chapters longer!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Mom! I've _finally_ found someone who likes chickens! She's gonna buy one too!" Popuri rushed into her house, dragging Erica along with her. Erica glanced up at the two people in the room.

Popuri's mother sighed. "What did I tell you about dragging strangers into the house! This fan club was supposed to be secret," Lillia (for that was her name) had shocking pink hair just like her daughter but on her head she wore a goofy cap in the shape of a chicken. Sitting next to her was a boy with huge glasses, also wearing a chicken cap. They were sitting down at a table, playing some weird card game.

"Oh, we were just playing Go Chicken!" said Popuri brightly, amidst all the silence. Erica shook her head.

"I'll just buy a chicken," Erica said, pointing to one of the crowded coops outside. Chickens were squawking noisily everywhere, and Erica could hear a few screeching upstairs.

"Oh, okay. Chickens like it if you name 'em, you know," said Lillia, picking up a pen and paper. "Which kind of chicken would you like? Normal (S) Egg chickens cost 1,500 G, but (M) Egg Chickens are 1,000,000G. They're very precious, you know. Same goes for the rest. But of course," She paused for breath. "The more hearts a chicken has for you, the better kind of eggs it produces. Thomas said something about the SELECT button... when was there ever a SELECT button...?"

"Hearts? I thought a chicken only had _one_ heart?" asked Erica.

"Yes! Right now it only has _one_ heart for you! But don't worry, it'll grow to like you and grow more hearts! You pick things up so fast! So, what's it's name?" Lillia replied, smiling.

"Grow?" Erica was dumbfounded.

"Ah yes, Grow! Perfect name! I once had a chicken called Grow..." She stared out of the window. "Until one day... _It's so UNFAIR_!" She limped upstairs, sobbing.

"Um... Mom's a little touchy about that subject..." Popuri's brother whispered. "Dad took it with him for his _great expedition_ for some flower to heal Mom's legs. He well, you know... ate it. Oh yeah, my name's Rick, by the way," He added a little sheepishly.

_What a nerd._ Erica thought, shuddering at the sight of his thick round glasses. _And a chicken freak, too._

"Sooooo... Rick will put your chicken in the coop for you, m'kay? And I'll thrown in 2 bushels of chicken feed. Okay, pay up please, 1,500G," Popuri jotted down some notes on the notepad that her mother had left on the table. Erica gave her a sack or two of gold and quickly made her escape, thankful to get away from the House of Chickens.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica strolled down the lane, looking at the map that Thomas had scribbled down on a tattered piece of paper in a sequence of elaborate (and illegible) drawings and labels. Instead of reaching the supermarket, her next destination, she found herself at a funny old place called the Inn. Of course, Erica always had to look in every door and peep in every window she saw, being a curious girl since young. Opening the door, she was greeted with a weird melodic tune and two figures standing at the table in front of her.

"Um... where is this place?" She got a closer look at the two people at the table. One was a man with flaming red hair and next to hiim, with the same hair color, was a young girl, no older than Erica herself. The girl's hair was tied up in a plait, and her big sapphire blue eyes made her face look like a kid's.

"Oh, hi! You must be... er... _DAD_!" she shouted. Both of them turned behind, and Erica heard the shuffling of paper.

"Greetings, new farmer! Welcome to our humble... town! And please... enjoy your stay at the Mineral Town Inn!" The man said in a jittery voice, and nudged the girl.

"I am Ann, local waitress and this is my father, Doug. We run this simple business, and feel free to visit anytime you like! Up to standard..." Ann shuffled a few cue cards and read them. "Service for the modern-day customer!"

"Please sample our local cuisine. I am sure it will be up to your standards, Miss Alien- I mean, Miss... er..."

"Erica,"

"Yes, Miss Erica, please sample our delicacies," Doug said, in the air of which one would speak to an alien visiting from Venus.

"We hope you will remember us when you go back to Venu- I mean, your farm. We want to make it big on Mars one day!"

Erica shook her head and sighed. She ate and drank whatever that was on the table in one gulp, to fufil her longing want to get away from the alien addicts. _Too much Star Wars._ She thought.

"Er... Is there a library in this town?" she asked, as her mind insisted that the librarian be informed immediately about the content of those many science-fiction books she had noticed lying in the corner of the room (that Ann had craftily kicked away while Erica was eating).

"Oh yes! We appreciate you for asking, there is one conveniently placed in the north-western sector of our humble town," answered Ann, almost immediately after Erica had asked the question. "Goodbye, and have a nice day!" Ann pushed Erica out and went back to sit in the corner, reading her pile of science-fiction novels with her father, contemplating the possible alien-inhabited planets.


	4. Eavesdropping

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erm... Although my chapters may not be long, I manage to churn up about 2 everyday... SOOOO...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, it's that girl!"

"Who?"

"The farm, duh!"

"Oh..."

"Did you..."

"Hmmm... not really..."

"Obviously _someone _needs a haircut,"

"That color suits her though,"

"The overalls are on the tacky side,"

"Her boots are gross!"

"Farmers..."

"But the Old Man wasn't _that_ dirty all the time, was he?"

"Nah. Can't remember,"

Erica stared at the three women chatting in a corner of Rose Square. They didn't seem to have noticed that Erica wasn't deaf.

"I can hear you, you know," She said impatiently, glaring at the three obnoxious women.

"Oh, you must be the new girl on the farm!" greeted Manna brightly, completely oblivious to the fact that Erica had heard every word they had said and was **not** happy about it. "I'm Manna, that's Anna, and that's Sasha! We come here every afternoon just to chat, being the town gossips and all. Did you hear that Duke got his tooth filled yesterday? Well, I should know, he's my husband, but he got it in this really frightful color, it was gold! I mean, people go for silver nowadays, but Duke was never trendy. I mean, he dresses like some medieval guy! And look at his hair! I mean, I really shouldn't be talking about my husband like this, I mean, I don't really care about his looks. Be sure to come visit us at Aja Winery! If you're wondering who Aja is... Hey! Come back!" Erica had taken to her heels and fled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica refered to her map. The only house that looked half-decent was Thomas's, which was understandable. Thomas was never very modest. As she walked past his house to the library, she stopped suddenly.

"What do you mean someone bought it? I am the rightful owner of that farm, and I've even got a will! Seee?" Erica leaned on Thomas's fence casually and eavesdropped on the conversation inside his house.

"But..."

"I'll show you what to 'but' about!"

"No! Wait! Spare meeeee!"

"The farm?"

"You'll have to talk to that girl!"

"How am I supposed to know where to find her? The farm is empty!"

"Someone told me she was at the chicken farm..."

A boy of about Erica's age flung open the door and stormed out. Thomas followed and stood outside his house, watching the boy go down the street.

"Hey, have you seen Erica?" Thomas turned to Erica, wiping his forehead.

"I_ am _Erica, dumbo!" She retorted.

"Oh. So you are. Anyway, you'll want to stay clear of that guy, he's pretty dangerous," Thomas looked around and tiptoed back into his house.

Erica shrugged and made her way to the library.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello? Is anyone home?" Erica shuffled into the dark library.

"Eeeeeek!"

"Wha?" Erica stumbled into a bookshelf and knocked it down.

"AAAAAAAAAAARH!" She heard a scream.

A gust of wind blew into the room, but the windows were closed and the curtains were drawn. Erica shivered. She backed away, trying to find a door.

BOOM!

Erica was knocked out.


	5. The War Begins

"Oh! She's waking up!"

Erica's eyes were blurred as she opened them slowly, wondering where she was. She could faintly make out a man with black hair and a girl with a blue dress standing next to her bed.

"What? Wh-where am I?" wondered Erica. Her vision slowly cleared and she sat up with a jolt, scaring the two people so hard that they jumped back in shock.

"Gah! Oh, er... you shouldn't be sitting up just yet, er... Erica," said the man, checking his clipboard. "You're in the hospital,"

"How did I get here?"

"Well, Mary saw you lying unconscious in her library, so she brought you here. A bookcase fell and a book landed on your head.She just went off to find Thomas," The girl in the blue dress smiled. Erica shivered at the thought of Thomas coming to visit her. "I'm Elli, by the way, I work here as the nurse, and over there is Doctor. He won't tell anyone his real name, so, just call him Doctor. I think he's forgotten what his real name is," added Elli in a whisper.

Just then, a girl came rushing in. She had black hair and big round glasses. Fortunately for her, she looked a _lot_ less nerdy than Rick, and didn't have a fatal attraction to chickens. Thomas sped in soon after, pantiing and dragging in a boy with brown hair and a blue cap.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I was watching a horror movie upstairs and screamed, so..." said Mary sheepishly, clutching a video case in her arms. "The Attack of the Killer Washing Machines, inspired by a novel, 'The Laundry Ate My Sister!',"

"Are you the one who let Ann and Doug borrow those science-fiction books? I mean, they thought I was an alien! Seriously!" complained Erica huffily. Mary nodded slowly, mumbled something about her big book of records, and ran off in the direction of the library.

"A-hem!" coughed the boy with the cap, nudging Thomas.

"Oh! Erica, there seems to be a misunderstanding here! The farm owner had actually left his farm to this lad here, Mad," Thomas said apologetically.

"Matt," 'Mad' growled.

"Yes, that's what I said, Mad. Anyway, since you've already paid for the farm and I can't give you a refund, you both will just have to share. Since the farmhouse initially belongs to Mad, you'll have to stay at the new house I asked Gotz (that's our lumberjack) to build for you in town,. Of course, Erica will have to come to the farm and help out, you can't expect Mad here to do _all_ the work," Matt glared at him.

"I _can_ handle it," sulked Matt.

"'Mad' really suits you, eh, _Mad_?" Erica taunted, making a face at him while Thomas was staring at the medicine on her bedside table.

"Oooh! Bodigizer! I've never had one of those in a long time!" He grabbed the bottle and gulped down its contents. Matt and Erica looked at each other and shook their heads.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica was ready to be discharged and was walking to the farmhouse to pack her things. She was greeted with Matt's face, which was as black as thunder.

"Why, hello, _Mad_," greeted Erica in a silky smooth voice, stressing delicately on the last word. Matt mumbled something under his breath.

"Pardon?" asked Erica.

"Gotz got hurt while doing _your_ house and now he's in hospital. Thomas said you'll have to stay here for the time being,"

"Oh,"

"Well?"

"In that case, you can sleep on the floor or something, I mean, shouldn't boys give in to girls?" Erica grinned and wagged a finger at Matt, who snorted in discontent.

"Peh, I can take it. It takes more than sleeping on the floor to put me off this farm," he shrugged.

"We'll just see who chickens out first!" Erica turned and strode into the chicken coop, clucking.

Matt strangled the air in front of him in fury.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica tossed and turned in her bed all night.

"Schnoreee... schnoreee..."

"Argh! I can't take it anymore!" Erica stood up on the bed and flung a pillow into Matt's wide open, snoring mouth.

"We'll see who gets the last laugh tomorrow, you just wait!" Erica grabbed his hat off the hatstand, pulled on her boots and snuck outside. Creeping over to the bee nest in the honey tree, she managed to fill Matt's hat with the sticky, gooey substance trickling from the overflowing hive. Snickering quietly, she went back into the house and hung the hat back where it was.

"Can't wait until tomorrow," Erica giggled evilly, and flopped down onto her soft, feathery bed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ooooh, it's the longest chapter I've ever written! I think.


	6. Honey in the Hair

Erica was given a generous wake-up call when she woke up that morning.

"NOOOOOO! WHAT _IS_ THIS STUFF?"

Snickering evilly, she jumped out of bed, determined to put up a convincing act.

"O-oh my! What _is_ that yellow goo on your head, _Mad_?" She asked, raising her eyebrows (in courtesy of the 'Actress of the Year' Award in high school) and looking shocked, when she really wanted to stuff her fist in her mouth to control her laughter. "My, it's time to go feed the chicken! I'll just take Cookie," She picked up her tiny puppy. "And I'll be off! Toodles!" Erica turned to the door, ran out and fled.

"IT WAS MY _FAVOURITE_ HAT!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Tsk tsk! Trust a _boy_ to kick up such a fuss over a hat," Erica put down Cookie (who said, "HEART") and set to catching Grow. "Here chicky chicky! Come here, Grow!" Finally managing to catch the chicken, she picked it up and put it outside (where it also said, "HEART") and began to scour the coop for eggs. She managed to find a reasonably small one hidden beneath a small pile of straw, and debated whether she should spa-boil it to sell, leave it in the incubator, or eat it, just to spite Matt. She finally decided to go to the springs, where she could go and chat with Ann and Popuri, who hopefully did not have chickens/aliens on their minds.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Matt was angrily washing his hair and hat in the river, since they didn't have any bathroom or sink. Grumbling to himself, he accidentally let go of his cap, which started floating away down the bubbling stream. Fortunately, it got snagged on a rock, and didn't go any further. Putting on his dripping cap, Matt flicked back his messy brown hair and set off into the town.

Soon after, he arrived outside the chicken farm. Thomas had warned him _never_ to go in there, so he sauntered down the lane till he came to another farm, this time, the Yodel. Hearing many moos coming from its interior, Matt walked in. He was greeted with a rushing stampede of cows, tired of eating boring old grass and wanting to snack on his overalls instead.

Being a fast runner, Matt sprinted over to the farmhouse, gave the door a few loud bangs and ran in, only to be greeted by a far more fearsome sight.

An old man was crouched in the corner shuddering, moaning and sniffing. Hearing the door creak, the old man uttered a cry.

"Aaah! Thank g-g-goodness y-y-you're here! That... new-fangled contraption j-j-just a-attacked m-m-m-me, lad! O-old B-B-Bar-Barley's n-n-never a-angered the H-Harvest Goddess? WHY?" whimpered Barley, pointing at a cash register whose money tray was open sitting on the counter. "I-I-I just p-pushed a b-button and its m-m-mouth popped out and t-tried to E-E-E-EAT ME!"

"Uh... Barley? I think you're overreacting. That thing there, which you thought was the mouth, is where you put the money," informed Matt._ Why do I always have to meet the weirdest people?_

"M-money? In t-t-the mouth? What made May _think_ I would like that _t-thing_!"

Matt sighed and proceeded to tell Barley how to operate the cash register.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey! it's Erica!" said Popuri in her usual bright, cheery voice, oblivious to the fact that she had a chicken on her head and was wearing a large chicken suit.

"Meep. I am a Martian, come from planet Mars. We have arrived at your planet to retrieve some volunteers for brain switching tests," Ann, who was wearing a green alien mask, spoke in a robotic voice and pointed to Erica. "You. You shall be the first. It is a privilege to perform such activities on humans. COome, let us go to my spaceship,"

Erica ran, dropped her egg in the spa, scooped it out and ran for her life.

"We really got her good for that one, didn't we?" laughed Popuri, stepping out of the hot suit.

"Brain switching tests. Next volunteer targetted. Popuri," Ann started walking zombie-like over to Popuri, who screamed and ran back to the farm, leaving behind a very lost chicken (whose name was FriedWing, as the family liked to call him).

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Thank you. I would never have learned how to do it if you hadn't taught me, Matt. In return, I'll come by with something special tomorrow, over at your farm... The M&E Farm. Right," Barley quickly jotted down the rest of Matt's address and the instructions on how to work the register.

"Um... I'll be leaving now," said Matt, determined to leave before Barley made anymore obnoxious remarks and asked him to re-explain the whole thing (like he did seven times).

As he ran out of the farm before the cows got him, he collided into something very, very, solid, and very, very painful.

"OW!"


	7. Not Even For a Lollipop?

"Ow... Head spinning... stars...?" whimpered Matt, attempting to get up. He looked up and tried to see who he collided into, but his head was spinning so much that all he saw was a mass of blurry fluff and stars before he fell back on the floor and blacked out.

"OW! Hey... it's _Mad_! Why'd you... Mad? Matt! Wake up!" Erica picked herself up and saw Matt lying unconscious on the stone path. "I'd better get him to the doctor..." She half-dragged, half carried him over to the hospital.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"People these days... fainting _everywhere_," commented Doctor as he scribbled something on his clipboard (little did the others know that he was doing a crossword puzzle). "I think he'll be all right once he wakes up... I mean, we gave him a brain scan," he sulked. He had never liked using any equipment.

"Now, now, Doctor. It could've been a matter of life and death," said Elli, placing a tray of Bodigizer and Turbojolt on Matt's bedside table. "Let me see that clipboard..." she added, snatching the clipboard away before Doctor could fill in '4 Down'.

"DOCTOR!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh puh-lease! Crashing into a girl... and FAINTING!" mused Erica as she skipped to the supermarket. Throwing open the door, she saw a girl with long blonde hair standing right in front of her. She had emerald green eyes and seemed to be arranging some seeds on a table in the middle of the room. She was wearing a white tank top with a purple sleeveless jacket over it.

"Welcome to the supermarket! I'm Karen," she introduced herself cheerily. "You must be the new girl on the farm,"

"Er... I'm Erica,"

"Farming must be harsh... I know! Daaaad!" Karen ran to the counter where a man with jet black hair and a mustache was standing. "Can we give her a free packet of seeds? Pretty please?"

"B-b-b-but Duke already owes us so much, we can't afford to make anymore losses, plus," He added with a whisper. "You don't even know her,"

Just then, a woman with the same golden blonde hair (in a bun) as Karen entered from the back door of the supermarket. Erica recognised her as one of the women gossiping about her in Rose Square.

"What happened to all your hospitality, Jeff?" she snapped. "Our motto has always been 'Kindness to strangers'!"

"But Sasha," Jeff argued.

"Um, it's okay, you don't have to..." stammered Erica, who hastily headed for the door.

"Nonsense, here you go!" Karen grinned and threw her a bag of grass seeds.

"Err, thanks," Erica mumbled.

"Since you're here, why don't you sample Karen's cooking?" Sasha exclaimed, pushing Erica into the back room of the supermarket.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here ya go!" Sasha laid a plate of rubbery noodles (which she and Jeff had been shoving at each other for the past hour) in front of Erica, who smiled nervously.

"Um, it probably tastes great, but I have to go -" Erica started, but Karen took the liberty of stuffing a forkful of noodles into her open mouth.

"Is it good?" she asked.

Erica tried to swallow the vile noodles but no avail. It's rubbery taste took all the air She keeled over, taking the chair with her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What? Two patients in a day? But we only have ONE BED!" Doctor yelled, slamming his clipboard (which's crossword puzzle was taken away by Elli) down on his desk. Crowded around his table were Karen, Sasha and Jeff.

"We're really sorry, Doctor, but..." started Sasha, who had helped move the unconscious Erica on the sofa.

"BUT? But WHAT? Sheesh, everyone's fainting these days, why can't they just leave off the alchohol?"

"It was Karen's cooking!" exclaimed Jeff, pointing at Karen. "It's always terrible!"

"Jeff!" Sasha pulled Jeff's hand down and turned to karen. "Karen? He doesn't mean it, he's just jealous that he can't cook," she comforted, putting a hand on Karen's shoulder.

"Is my cooking r-really _that_ bad?" sniffed Karen.

"YES!" agreed Jeff readily. Sasha gave him a kick as Karen burst into tears and ran out of the room. Sasha sighed, kicked Jeff again and ran out of the room, calling out to Karen. "Ah well," he said, sticking his hands in his pockets and walking out of the hospital. "She's in _your_ hands now, Doctor!"

"ARGH!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Doctor! What _are_ you doing on the floor?" Elli asked, peering down at the poor man, who was foaming at the mouth.

"Med- medicine! J-Jeff! GAH!" stuttered Doctor, contorting his face in anger. Elli guffawed at the hillarious sight, but gave him his medicine anyway, and helped him to his chair.

"That Jeff! He makes me so mad! He has never, not _ever_, never, paid his bills! And _he_ complains about Duke! Peh!" spat Doctor, after swallowing a pill. "He just left Erica here when he knew that the bed was already occupied!"

"No it's not!" Matt sat up and replied. "I think I'm just fine,"

"Well, his face isn't blue anymore," Doctor pointed out to Elli, who was busy checking Matt's temperature. "He can help bring Erica to the bed,"

"_Erica_? Her? No way, I am _not_ carrying her," Matt spat out the thermometer (which Elli caught deftly) and folded his arms.

"98 degrees!"

"Not even for a..." Doctor scanned the contents of his desk and found the perfect thing. "Not even for a _lollipop_?" he asked, pulling one out from a drawer.

"Uh... okay... But only if it's strawberry!" Matt drooled.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahhh! Finally finished!


	8. Healing Spree

Matt sucked on his lollipop thoughtfully as he slowly lifted Erica from the sofa to the comfortable hospital bed. Doctor was 'supervising'.

"There, I'm all done now, can I go home?" asked Matt impatiently, arms aching. Doctor signaled for him to leave quickly. As he listened to his surroundings, his expression suddenly turned dark.

"Leave now, Matt! Now!" said Doctor in a loud whisper, rushing towards the staircase as a familiar humming descended upon the two males.

"Oh Matt! Were you just about to leave?" Elli bounded down the stairs merrily before Doctor even had his hand on the banister. Briskly gliding to the medicine cabinet as Doctor silently hid behind a large potted plant at the end of the room, Elli piled her arms with a mountain of medicine bottles.

"Too late! Run while you can!" whispered Doctor from his favourite plant, his face peeking out behind the large leaves. Matt shrugged.

"Why?" he questioned, eyes on Doctor while unaware of Elli walking towards him at the back.

"Matt? Why, you forgot something!" sand Elli, promptly releasing the mountain of assorted medicines on Matt's head.

"I can't watch!" Doctor covered his eyes. "It's the same for every guy who comes in here!"

Tilting Matt's temporarily dazed head back, she twisted the cap off a Turbojolt XL and dumped its contents inside his open mouth, humming a tune to herself.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After going through the whole pile of medicine, Doctor had fallen asleep behind the plant while Elli's arm was getting tired. Aiming the last bottle safely into the bin, the young nurse stood up and brushed the dust off her apron and straightened her collar. Matt was finally breathing, not having a chance to while Elli had gone on her 'healing spree', as Doctor called it. Doctor watched on as he moved from one plant to antoher, first from 'Jenny' the geranium to 'Hannah' the hibiscus. After all, a nameless person _could_ indulge in such pleasures, couldn't one?

Matt crawled slowly towards the door, groaning in pain. Doctor gave him a thumbs up when he passed. Matt ignored him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt was feeling much better when he reached the farm. A thought suddenly struck him: Grow! Yes, the little chicken that Erica was supposed to tend to every day was now _his_ job? Matt sighed, but took it in his stride. The Turbojolt had destroyed his ability to anger. He swore that he would get Elli for that incident as he crept into his sleeping bag on the floor. Feeling uncomfortable, Matt decided to spend the night on Erica's bed. After all, _who _was the one who had to get stuffed with medicine? Technically, Erica had to be stuffed too, but that would be a different story.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Opening her eyes slowly, Erica saw the startling white ceiling spin before her eyes, then stop. She tried to recall what had happened before she passed out. _Karen's_ _cooking, _she thought, tossing and turning on the hospital bed. Feeling hot, she threw off the starched sheets and decided to go home. After all, she didn't feel sick anymore.

It was in the middle of the night when Erica trudged down the brick path home. The moon was full, and as Erica passed the town square, she heard eerie hooting sounds and whisperings of leaves. She shivered, but not because of the chilling cold that greeted the inhabitants of the town every night. Erica wanted nothing more but to settle down in heaps of blankets in the farmhouse. Sweeping past Yodel Farm, she looked around. The lone lampost at the end of the road seemed a million miles away, but Erica kept on going. Eventually, she reached her very own farm, and gave a sigh of relief.

The door creaked as she opened it, illuminating the dark house with streams of dazzling moonlight. It was two in the morning, and all Erica wanted to do was sleep. She slipped into her bed, which seemed smaller than usual, and went to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BWAHAHAHA. It's been ages since I added a chapter. This is my favourite one.


	9. Flashback Time

Warning: Lame and unreasonable chapter ahead. Read at own risk. Reviewers are advised to stay away/ignore this chapter. The author of this lame and unreasonable chapter thanks all reviewers, but still advises them to skip this page.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As morning greeted the sleepy town, some places were not so sleepy.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"What're _YOU _doing here?" screeched Erica at the top of her voice.

"How about you? You weren't supposed to be back till today!"

"You're in _my _bed, you nitwit!"

"It's not _my_ fault!"

"On the FLOOR! Didn't we make this clear on the first night?"

"Well, you left me your idiotic chicken to care for!"

"Oh! Grow! I'm not gonna waste time talking to you, you big moron!" screamed Erica as she ran a comb through her hair.

"_You're_ the moron, you IDIOT!" snarled Matt as he put on his cap.

"I _knew_ I never should have brought you to hospital, you ingrate! I still have that bruise from bumping into you!" Erica poked Matt in the chest and stormed off to the chicken coop in a huff, leaving Matt speechless.

"_You_ did that?" he whispered under his breath, as he stared at Erica's shrinking figure as she walked further and further away.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Flashback (Matt's POV)_

_Head... spinning... stars..._

_"Mad? Matt? Wake up!"_

_An angel?_

_"I'd better get you to the doctor..."_

_Wow... so cold... yet so warm... I'm falling in love..._

_End flashback_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No! That can't be right!" Matt shook his head a few times, as if to clear any blockages. Laughing nervously to himself, as he thought deeply, _I'm not falling in love with Erica... I'm not... nope. _He muttered this to himself as he grabbed some honey from the tree and foraged for grasses in the forest, repeating over and over again. _Nope. Not falling for her. _He decided to go to town for some love advice, as well as to get some seeds.

He sauntered down the brick path towards the town, still mumbling to himself, over and over again. _I'm not falling in love, nope. Nosiree. Nope. Never. Erica's dumb. Yes, dumb. Is she?_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I hate that idiotic, moronic, stupid, dumb, _Mad_!" mumbled Erica as she stamped on the grass to emphasise every word. "An idiot, a moron, a... see? I can't think of any words to describe him with! Argh!" She dropped the chicken feed she was holding. "Oh _great,_"

Grow looked up at her master curiously. Recognising this '_Mad_' as the young man in the out-of-date blue cap, she reminded herself to give him hard pecks on his ankle everytime he passed by. Erica picked her up and put her on the grass outside the chicken coop. She then proceeded to look inside the chicken coop for eggs. Erica eventually found one in the corner of the coop, hidden behind some straw. Not in the mood too sell it, she left it in the incubator, and went into town to buy more chicken feed and have her rucksack enlarged.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt walked into the supermarket, still muttering to himself. He walked around the supermarket, struggling to find out what was wrong with him today. Did he drink any love potions? _No, unless you count the bodigizers or turbojolts. Besides, there're no such things!_ Could he say anything bad about Erica? _She's... she's... ARGH!_ What did he feel when her name was mentioned? _Hot... embarrassed... ARGH! There's something wrong with me!_

"ARGH!"

"Uh... Matt? Is there anything wrong?" asked Jeff, backing away from the counter.

"What? How could you tell?"

"By the fact that you're flinging the seeds out of their display areas, filling the rucksacks with flour and thumping you hands on the ground when you see the blue feather, perhaps?" answered Jeff, resisting the urge to scream at Matt to pay for all the damages. "And also because you just roared like a gorilla?"

"Jeff! I need some advice! _Love_ advice!" Matt rushed to the counter and held his head in his hands.

"Well you've come to the right man, lad! What do you want to know?" Jeff's face lit up as he patted Matt on the back. "I wrote an Aunt Agony column back in the old days!"

"Oh brother..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica skipped past the supermarket door and heard a familiar shout.

"ARGH!"

"Sounds like the gorilla's in the supermarket. What's he doing in there, I wonder?" Erica pressed her ear to the supermarket door, and listened eagerly.


	10. Experts of Love?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been madly doing Pokemon sprites so I forgot to update. Also I've been drowned with homework... ugh.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica opened the door a tiny crack and peeped inside. She saw Jeff standing at the counter, Matt leaning on it next to him.

"Okay, what if you like this girl... who doesn't really like you but you like her, and at first you didn't like her either, but suddenly you just - _like_ her?"

"Ah, young Mad -"

"Matt,"

"All you need to - who _do _you like anyway? Elli? Popuri? Mary?"

"Uhh..."

Erica snickered. _Mad in loooove? That was the understatement of the year._

"Don't tell me - wait, wait, I know this one... Can't be Karen... she likes Rick..." Jeff rubbed his chin. "I've got it!" He snapped his fingers. "Who is it?"

Matt sighed. He turned and headed for the door. Erica jumped and ducked behind a rusty picket fence. He swerved around the corner, muttering to himself. Erica leapt out from behind the fence and shook her head.

"Shoot, so close," she muttered, walking down the road.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica flung open the doors to the inn and made her way to the phone.

"Well, might as well call Mom and Dad," she said to herself, shrugging. She stuck her finger into the old-fashioned dial of the phone and slotted in a few coins.

_6... 8... 4... 5... 1... 2... 3... _or was it 4?

"Hello, welcome to the TV Shopping Channel. Will you buy the mirror for 1000G?"

"Umm, isn't this..."

"Well, anyway you _have to_ buy it. The rules say that once you call you HAVE to buy. See ya. It'll arrive in 2 to 3 days. Get 1000G ready or you'll be fined. 2000G to be exact. Goodbye and have a nice day. _Click. Toot... toot..._"

"WELL THIS IS JUST GREAT!" Erica screamed into the receiver, attracting the attention of all the villagers sitting near her.

"Err, Erica, do you want something?" asked a voice sweetly. It was Ann, peering out of the door behind the counter. "Cos' if you don't, could you keep it down? We're watching _Ponies and Rainbows from Outer Space_. It's a great movie, y'know?"

"Argh! I've had it with you weird people!" Erica got up and went upstairs, hoping for a nice, soft bed to lie on.

"Was it something I said?" questioned Ann meekly. "I could've lent her _Aliens from Wierdomania_ if she wanted,"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica threw open a door and leapt onto one of the beds.

"Eh, Erica?"

"Oh, it's Gray," She sat up and looked around. "This is _your_ room? Oops, sorry," When Erica headed for the door, Gray gave a shout.

"Erica! I need your help!" Gray flopped down on his own bed and gave a large sigh.

"For what?" Erica stopped in her tracks, her hand on the doorknob.

"Well... I need love advice," admitted the shy boy sheepishly.

"What? You're in _love_?" sputtered Erica. "With who?"

"No! Not me! A-a friend, that's all. He asked me to ask someone,"

"Oh," said Erica, raising an eyebrow unbelievingly.

"My friend, he likes this girl, but he doesn't know how to break it to her,"

"Oh. Well, just ask _your friend_ to just tell her, just straight out," advised Erica, and she turned to the door, leaving Gray there stunned.

"What kind of advice is _that_?"


	11. Snapping Turtles

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The previous chapter was unbelievably short. I apologise.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt sneaked silently along the brick path to the hospital. He knew he could always count on Doctor, even after the healing spree incident. Tapping softly on the door of the building, he slipped in.

"Doctor! Doctor!" Matt whispered loudly so as not to be heard by Elli, for obvious reasons. "Over here! Behind Jenny, the geranium!"

Doctor looked up from his desk and joined him at the potted plant near the door.

"What's with you, Matt? Elli's over at her house, she took the day off!" said Doctor, pushing him out from behind the blooming shrub, almost knocking over Hannah in the process. He sat Matt down on the sofa. "What did you come here for, a checkup?"

"No, I came for some... advice. _Love_ advice," said Matt sheepishly.

"What? Come again?" Doctor stuck a finger in his ear, attempting to clean it out. Unbelievable deafness in critical situations ran in his family.

"I need love advice, Doctor,"

"Pardon?" Doctor shook his head hard and shrugged.

"LOVE ADVICE!" Matt literally screamed the words into Doctor's ears.

"I still can't hear you, speak up!"

"I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH ERICA!" This time Matt _did_ shout.

"Oh! I see!" Doctor finally showed _some_ sense of hearing. "Unbelievable deafness in critical situations runs in my family. Now, what were you saying again?" Unbelievable amnesia in critical situations ran in his family too.

"NEVER MIND! Sheesh!" Matt stormed out of the hospital in a huff.

"What? Never mind what?" asked a clueless Doctor.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica strutted down the road, in search of a perfect place to eavesdrop. While walking past the hospital, she heard a familiar voice shout.

"I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH-"

The sound was cut short at the crucial moment when May came running up to Erica.

"Bad news, Erica! My grandpa fainted after the money tray came out of the cash register!"

"Who're _you_? And how come you know me when I don't know you?" asked Erica, looking at the little girl disdainfully. Erica's rulebook clearly stated that the only offense worse than interrupting eavesdroppers was making a crate of snapping turtles crash down on someone's head. Seeing as Erica had experienced it herself, and had also got caught attempting to do that, she had to put it down.

"Oh," sniffed May. "Do you know Matt?"

"In the hospital," sighed Erica and stomped off, looking for a crate of snapping turtles which she could pour down someone's back to let off steam.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I supppose this chapter is unbelievably short too. But alas, I have homework.


	12. The Sky is Gray

Matt strode out of the hospital huffily, mumbling under his breath. He heard a small whimpering. Turning around, he saw May sitting on the pavement, sobbing.

"What's wrong, May?" asked Matt, helping her up.

She sniffed and stood up. "It-it was that girl!" May pointed down the pathway which Erica had just stomped off. "E-Erica! She w-was outside, and then-then-then-WAAAAAH!" She burst into tears. "She scweamed at me!"

"Erica? She can't have done that. Could she?" Matt scratched his head. Then he jumped up. "Erica? She was right here? When?"

"J-j-just before you c-came out," May had calmed down a bit more. Matt handed over his hankerchief and she blew her nose on it.

"_What_?" Matt exclaimed, and sat down on the floor in a state of shock. "_She_ heard everything!"

"H-heawd what?" sniffed Erica, handing the handkerchief back after blowing her nose a few more times. Matt cringed and gestured for her to keep it.

"Anyway, why did you come looking for me?" asked Matt, standing up and brushing the dust off his overalls.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica walked down the road and into the farm.

"Sheesh! Crazy people everywhere..."

"Bawk?"

"Oh, there ya are, Grow!" Erica squatted down and petted the surprised chicken on its head.

"Bawk, bok bok, bawk bawk keh!" Grow squealed. It waddled over to a patch of trampled turnips.

"What the - who did this?" Erica fingered the spoiled turnips that were covered in dirt. "When I get my hands on - EEYAH!" She felt a sharp tugging at her shirt.

"Neeigh!" A young foal cantered around the farm happily, chasing Grow.

"BAWK BAWK BAAAWK!"

"What the -"

Just then she noticed a note taped to her mailbox.

BArleeY waNted me toGive yoo THes Horsse.

He sayd to take carr of itt. Callit watevr yoo like.

It nids bruashhing everyday.

Zak

"... oh," Erica stared at the many spelling mistakes in the letter. "Psychos,"

"Neigh?"

"Oh yeah, I'll call you... Thunder," Erica stroked the foal's mane gently. "Mad won't be too happy about this..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"La, la la..." Popuri sang as she skipped out of the Poultry farm. "Kai's coming soon... it's almost the end of Spring!"

"Oof!"

"Eek!"

"Sorry..." Matt got up and rubbed his chin. "Didn't see you there,"

"H-hi. I've never seen you around before," Popuri stammered. "Oh. That's right. You work on the same farm as Erica, right?"

"Uh-huh," he agreed.

"I was just going to the beach, wanna come?"

"Uh.. I shouldn't... it's getting..." Matt hastily replied.

"Nonsense! I'll show you the Beach House!" Popuri answered cheerily, dragging Matt along to the beach.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello?" Erica pushed open the door to the dark blacksmith's. "Anybody home?"

"Hi."

"Gray? Is that you?"

"Yeah, over here!" Gray waved his hand in front of Erica's face. "The lightbulb fused, so Grandpa went to get a new one,"

"Oh, right. Can I get a brush for my horse?"

"Comin' right up," Gray reached under what looked like a desk and threw a brush at Erica. She caught it easily.

"Thanks, SEE YA!" She opened the door and exited.

Even in the dark, Gray blushed a deep red.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nya ha! Mary shalt not taint thy beautiful fanfiction!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	13. The Mean HG

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Long time since I updated... -.-" So here's another chapter! -sob- I didn't know my chapters were so short, there's less than 10,000 words! In this chapter, Matt meets the troublemaking Harvest Goddess! Now who says that the HG needs to be wonderful and good and kind...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Barley? Hey, Barley!"

"Ovrr... her..."

"Hey, at least switch on the lights!"

Click. The lights lit up the dark room to reveal a struggling, headless Barley.

"It took a long time shaking Popu - pfffft!" Matt sniggered.

"It... norff... farny! I... goff... my heaff stuck in fe caffh regifer!"

"How'd that happen? I thought you fainted!"

"I... fosh strufflinf!"

Matt pushed a button labelled 'OPEN' and Barley's head shot out of the cash register.

"Aww, go to blazes, yer new-fangled contraption!" Barley cursed. "Hey you! Mad!"

"Matt," he corrected.

"Go dispose of that... that thing! I'm gonna use an old fashioned pickle jar instead!"

"B-b-but..."

"One more but and I'll... what was it again, oh, kick yer BUTT!"

Matt picked up the heavy cash register and tipped all the money out of it. Staggering, he walked out of Yodel Farm into the forest.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt reached the goddess pond. Without thinking, he flung the cash register in with all his might. He heard the tinkling of bells, and all of a sudden, someone rose out of it.

"Hey, thanks Matt! I can convert this into an Xbox!" thanked the Harvest Goddess. Matt fell back onto the grass.

"What- no, who are you? How'd you know my name?" he asked, bewildered.

"Oh, silly me! I'm the Harvest Goddess," she smiled, and dropped the cash register into the depths of the pond.

"I-I thought you d-d-didn't exist!"

"Nonsense! Don't listen to everything you hear!" the Harvest Goddess ticked him off. She folded her arms and sighed. "Well, what do you want?"

"What do you mean what do I want?"

"Your wish, dummy! Since you've done me such a huge favour... I get to grant you one wish. Most of the time, it's about _looove_! Well, boy, who _do _you _loooove_?" asked the Goddess, rubbing her hands together gleefully. After granting so many wishes, it was her right to be unnaturally nosy.

"Ah-er... um..." stammered Matt, surprised at this outburst.

"Wait!" The goddess halted Matt's thoughts. An orb of strange, swirly light materialised in the air in front of them. "There! Now, I'll just project your thoughts right here..." A fuzzy picture was appearing in the orb.

"Ah! Don't!" Matt attempted to think of something else.

"Really, Matt! Learn to empty your mind!" said the Goddess huffily, and continued to extract Matt's thoughts. "The Kappa could suck your brains out with such weak mental barriers!" The picture in the orb became clearer and clearer. It was a picture of Erica feeding Grow.

"Gah! No!" He struggled to close his mind as the Goddess continued pulling pictures of Erica out. Erica in the hospital, Erica sleeping, Erica walking...

"Aha! Erica, eh?" smirked the Goddess. "You and she are _perfect_ matches! She likes eavesdropping too... I'd better pay her a visit,"

"No! Don't tell her!" Matt called as the Goddess rose into the air.

"Don't worry, I won't. I'll leave _you _tell her yourself,"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	14. Distant Memories

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bwaha! Another one! Must reach 10,000 word mark...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Erica! Hey, Erica!" Gray dashed into the farm.

"Bawk?"

"Woah! Here Grow, here... oh, it's Gray, what're you doing here?" Erica smiled sweetly, picking up Grow and tucking it under her arm.

"Um, just that you left this... I mean... dropped this at the blacksmith's!" Gray handed Erica a silver, heart-shaped locket with a gold chain. "Is it valuable?"

Erica's eyes welled up with tears.

"Uh, are you okay?" Gray asked, a look of concern crossing his face.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Erica wiped her eyes against her sleeves. "It's my mother's locket. Whenever I look at it, I can't help remembering the time when that tidal wave..." She trailed off, burst into tears and flung her arms around a very surprised Gray.

"Um..." Gray's face blushed a tomatoey red.

"Sorry," Erica let go of Gray reluctantly. She led him into the house and they both sat down. "That wave... it killed my mom. And then there was that earthquake... that killed my dad," Erica tearfully opened the locket. Inside was a picture of a blonde-haired woman and a dark-haired man, and in the middle was a tiny, blonde-haired girl of about three.

"I grew up with my aunts and uncles, but they thought I was a nuisance, and they kept passing me to each other every week. So one day, when I was eleven, I ran away. I arrived at the city I lived in before Mineral Town. I stayed five years at a foster home, then I started working. Eventually..." Erica sniffed and waved her free hand around the house. "I came here,"

"Wow... so that's what your past was like..." Gray muttered, putting a hand on Erica's shoulder. "I never knew,"

"I never told anyone else," She sighed sadly.

There was an awkward silence in the air.

"Wanna go to the beach?" Gray asked.

"Okay..." Erica slowly stood up.

They exited the house and walked over to the entrance of the farm. Erica stopped Gray from walking any further.

"Thanks for listening! I really appreciate that," Erica pulled him into a friendly hug. Gray's face flushed red again. They separated and Erica smiled.

Rustle... rustle...

"What was that?" Gray turned around.

"Probably leaves," Erica looked around and shrugged.

"Oh, um... Erica?"

"Yeah?"

"Eh... I made this for you," Gray pushed a silver brooch into Erica's hand.

"Really? Thanks! You're really great, Gray!"

Gray pulled his cap down to avoid Erica seeing the huge grin arched on his face.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rick and Karen collapsed on the floor, stunned by what they had just seen through the bushes.

"Erica..." Karen started.

"And Gray?" Rick continued, breathless.

"Oh my gosh! What a huge piece of news!" she squealed jumping up and down vigorously. "I can't wait to tell Sasha!"

"I don't think we should..."

"It's just gossip! After all, what could _possibly _happen?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Something very big, Karen, something VERY big. I just LOOOVE Gray, don't you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	15. Gossip AGAIN?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha! Thanks for all the reviews so far! Yes, I dislike Mary! So she'll be a normal person living a normal life in this abnormal town. Maybe... Otherwise I'll just make her some swotty nerd. No, this is not ostracism!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Have you heard?"

"Yeah, it's all around the town!"

"I never thought that they would end up together..."

Ann, Elli and Mary were gathered in the clinic, ducked behind the desk.

"Uh, why are we behind the desk again?" Mary pushed up her square-rimmed glasses and sighed.

"So the doctor doesn't notice me slacking off to talk to you guys!" Elli explained, peering over the top of the desk. She shifted a few of the items on it so that there was some sort of fort around them.

"Jeez... he's really strict, eh?" Ann commented, and Elli flushed pink.

"Aww, stop it," Mary said, clearly annoyed at the fact that she did not get a chance to speak. "So... are we gonna tell?"

"Tell?"

"Tell Matt! I heard that... he has a 'thing' for Erica," she blushed. "From my mom," She added as her two friends stared at her.

"No, we don't wanna hurt him," Elli pointed out. "Are you guys really THAT mean?"

"Well, if we tell him he'll be rivals with Gray and will persevere more in fighting for his love!" Ann stood up and struck a heroic pose, and Mary quickly pulled her down.

"Sorry, I learnt that from 'Attack of the Acrostic Poems'. Ah, it's a great movie, it is,"

"Hey, I have that novel in my library, you want it?" Mary was finally getting enthusiastic about this whole 'gossip' thing.

"Guys, GUYS -" Ann pulled her hand over Elli's mouth a nanosecond before the doctor peeked over the wall separating the receptionist counter from the examination room.

"Elli? Is everything okay?"

Elli stood up and struck a salesgirl smile.

"Nothing, just searching for a Turbojolt bottle that dropped on the floor,"

The doctor looked around some more, then retreated to his office.

"Whew, that was close!" Ann breathed a huge sigh of relief. Guess we should go now, see ya!" Ann grabbed Mary and they stomped out of the clinic.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why did you tell your mom, Karen? Telling her is like telling the whole world!" sighed Rick. "And now the whole town knows we've been spying!" Karen rolled her eyes.

"You _are_ inexperienced at this gossip thing, aren't you?" asked Karen impatiently. Rick opened his mouth to answer.

"Uh-"

"That was rhetorical. Anyway, I just started off my sentence with this:

'Ann told Mary who told Elli who told the Gourmet who told Popuri who told Thomas who told Harris who told Doug who told Duke who told Rick who told May who told Stu who told Carter who told the Gourmet _again_, who told Barley who told Basil who told me that Gray has a crush on Erica!'

See?"

"Oh. I still don't get it," Rick scratched his head. Karen sighed.

"Just pretend you didn't start the gossip,"

Rick nodded.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rose Square was quite empty, except for the three ladies who stood there every afternoon to discuss the day's happenings.

"I just heard this from my daughter, girls! It's hot off the press!" announced Sasha excitedly. "Ann told Mary who told Elli who told the Gourmet who told Popuri who told Thomas who told Harris who told Doug who told Duke who told Rick who told May who told Stu who told Carter who told the Gourmet _again_, who told Barley who told Basil who told Karen who told me that Gray has a crush on Erica!"

"Repeat that," sweatdropped Anna dumbfoundedly.

"I know! I know! Gray has a crush on E-ric-a!" sang Manna proudly.

"Oh my gosh! That is like, so sudden!" gushed Anna, starting to sound like a teen.

"Yeah, I always thought Gray had a thing for Mary,"

"I mean, he was always going to the library and stuff, and he's a _blacksmith_, for goodness' sake!"

"Well, I don't suppose you could say he's a pro at smithing,"

"Yeah, I mean, the last time we like, were talking about Rick and his removable braces and about him having trouble taking them off, which like, relates to the fact that, like, all nerds aren't like, pro at nerd stuff,"

"_I_ used to have braces!"

"But they didn't get caught in your lip, did they?"

"I guess not,"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hahaha! This Gray-Erica-Matt-(Mary?) Love Rectangle is so fun! Wait till the gossip reaches Matt! O.o

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	16. Matt Stops and Talks to a Horse

"C'mon... it's almost out..." encouraged Elli, holding up a big, handmade cardboard hand inscribed with "Go, chick!".

"How cuuuute!" cooed Popuri, stroking the fluffy down that was half-hidden beneath the bits of eggshell.

"Aww, look at its widdle feet!" Ann commented as she flipped through 'Chick Hatching for Dummies' (hopefully no one had noticed that 'Seven Days on Mercury' was hidden inside it).

"It's the first time I witnessed a real, live hatching!" Elli clutched a bright blue camera and clicked away.

"Gotta write it down, it could be an inspiration for a new book," Mary started jotting down notes at top speed, occasionally asking questions like 'Is it possible to breed a blue chicken?' or 'What if you incubated the egg in Alaska?'.

Erica had invited Karen, Ann, Mary, Elli and Popuri over to watch the hatching of the egg that she put in the incubator a week ago. Gotz, who was finally released from the hospital three days ago, had also finished building Erica's new house.

"KKKKRACK!" A soft, yellow chick popped out of the broken bits of eggshell.

"Cheeeeep!"

"AWWW..." The six girls said in unision.

Erica picked it off the incubator and put it down on the floor ("HEART," it cheeped).

"Well, why don't we all see my new house?" Erica led the five girls out of M&E Farm, Elli still holding the big hand and Ann still reading.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt saw the six girls trooping out of the farm and finally managed to slip in. He waltzed into the house casually and checked the calendar for anything special. Apparently the cooking festival had been postponed to the 25th of Spring due to the fact that the Gourmet had been visiting his mother's house on the 22nd.

Sighing, Matt stomped out of the house and went to the stables, hoping to find some sort of comfort in talking to the horse.

"Neigh?"

"... Thunder, eh?"

"Neeeeeeeeeeeigh,"

"How come _nothing_ ever goes right for me? First I'm in love with a girl that hates me, and next, everyone's gossiping about something I don't know; whenever I'm in the bar they all stare at me! It's driving me nuts!"

Thunder said nothing and started chomping on bits of straw.

"Are you listening?"

"Nooooogh,"

"Gah..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica and the other five girls were checking out the dresses that came with Erica's mirror.

"They gave me five different overall colours and six dresses!" she complained, holding out a poofy pink dress.

"Hey, can I have that?" Popuri asked. Erica nodded.

"The only one I actually like is _this one_," she held out a strapless, dusky pink dress with a short, flowing skirt. "I can wear it with those ribbon heels I brought over!"

"Speaking of which, noble humans, there is a party at our humble inn tonight. Everyone in our town's invited, can you come?" Ann said, half in her alien voice and half in her normal human voice.

"Okay," Karen agreed. "Will there be lots of wine?"

"Wine? We have plenty of human beverages,"

"Sure, sounds fun," Elli nodded and proceeded to scour through Erica's dresses.

"We shall see you there, Earthlings," Ann clapped, the lights went out, and she disappeared.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is Ann an alien or a human?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	17. Lint and Bodigizer Just Don't Mix

This is a reply to Sarah303: No, the part about the dresses is made up. Just in case you thought that it was actually real. Which it's not.

My Pokemon fanfic's not getting much recognition, tho. I've even got the sprites for them. Well, if anyone's interested, just go take a look, okay?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Muahaha! Soon, the inhabitants of Mineral Town shall be brainwashed to do our bidding! Just wait, my child!" Doug laughed maniacally.

"You are absolutely correct, dear Father! After wearing our 'Chickens from Neptune' costumes, anyway," replied Ann, and held up a goofy looking one-piece suit. It was green and had eight large wings hanging from the sides. The matching hat had a chickens head on it (seven eyes, four beaks), and the shoes that also came in the package didn't seem easy to walk with (one large toe and twelve others at the heel).

"Say, my child, where did you get those amazing jumpsuits, anyhow?" asked Doug, picking up one of them which was exactly his size, meaning to try it on.

"Oh, I got it off MTBay. Mary's new website! You can get awesome alien costumes there, inclusive of ray guns and fake slime!" replied Ann excitedly, while jumping up and down.

"Hm..." Doug stroked his chin.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_What_ am I going to wear? The party's tonight!" moaned Karen, frantically pulling every single clothes hanger out of the wardrobe.

"I dunno," said Elli, lying on Karen's bed.

"I wish I had _something _to wear," sighed Mary, flipping through her notebook to find inspiration for her newest book, The Attack of the Jellybeans.

"I already have my costume, humble Earthlings. It's, how you might say, ah..."

"Pretty?" suggested Erica.

"No, more like weird!" commented Mary. "I checked the bids on my site, and she won the auction for the 'Chickens from Neptune' jumpsuits!"

"Can I order one?" Popuri raised her hand innocently.

"You're from the chicken fan club, aren't you?" asked Elli, smacking a hand onto her forehead. Karen sniggered and continued piling clothes on the floor.

"I wore something like that when I was five, during Halloween!" insisted Popuri obstinately.

"Oh! I remember that! It gave me nightmares for weeks!" gasped Mary, shuddering. "I still have them sometimes!"

"Anyway, help me choose!" Karen slapped her hand down on the bed, making Elli sit up in a hurry.

"Fine! How about this?" asked Popuri, holding up a black T-shirt and a pair of jeans. "After all, the party's just a casual one, right?"

"Not when everyone in town's going to be there!" she snapped irritably.

"Say, what're you guys wearing?" asked Elli.

"Um, anything, I guess," said Popuri. "I've never really cared about dressing up properly during parties,"

"My normal clothes, that's all," answered Mary, furiously scribbling down a few pointers in her notebook. "Do you think the strawberry jellybeans should be evil, or the blueberry ones?"

"Definitely blueberry," replied Erica. "Anyway, what I'm wearing is a secret!"

"I'm coming in one of the dresses Ellen made for me! It's all sparkly and stuff," Elli answered her own question.

"Chicken suit," said Ann, wiping her hands on her overalls.

"Rick's gonna come in a chicken hat!" Popuri said brightly. "We're playing Go Chicken, care to join us?"

"I accept,"

"How about this, guys?" Karen held up a white tank top and a short black pleated mini-skirt. The others all nodded and murmured words of approval.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There's a party at the inn? Tonight?" Matt exclaimed, spilling a bottle of Bodigizer on the floor. Doctor tutted.

"You mean you didn't know?" he replied, reaching into his sock and pulling another bottle (covered in lint) out and handing it to Matt, who didn't notice.

"Well, since _everyone_ in town's talking about something I don't know about, my horse can't understand me, and you have some kind of hearing disease, NO!"

"Ah, well. All the girls are going to be there, I heard them talking about it in the supermarket," replied Doctor, who pulled a bottle of Bodigizer out from his sock _again_ and proceeded to gulp it down.

"Even-even-?" stuttered Matt, and ran out of the hospital.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

May the short chapters and long waiting periods have mercy on your soul. I'm terribly sorry.


	18. Erica, Jellybeans and Venusian Fungi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been brainstorming all night for this one... please review.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rick (wearing a chicken hat) entered the inn with Popuri and Karen, Lillia tagging closely behind.

"Welcome, weary wanderers! Help yourselves to the human food and drink, consisting of..." Ann popped out from behind the door in the ridiculous chicken jumpsuit described in the earlier chapters.

"A purple liquid extracted from a small, circular fruit known as the... grapp, and left to ferment," Doug (in a purple 'Chickens from Neptune' jumpsuit) wheeled over a cart of food and drinks to the entrance. Ann picked up a bottle of wine and passed it to Karen.

"Um, Ann. It's 'grape'," Karen corrected her, yanking the cork out of the bottle.

"Um, yeah! We knew that," Ann nudged her father and they both winked.

"Now, where were we?" She reached into her pocket and pulled out some cue cards. "Salads made out of thin, green leaves, long, orange vegetables and tiny, yellow circles,"

Doug pulled out a platter full of green mushrooms with yellow spots. The four jumped in surprise as he pushed it towards them.

"Father, that's the wrong plate! It's the Venusian fungi we were trying to feed to our pet mammal!"

"Sorry, my child. _This _is the right one," Doug handed Popuri a plate of salad.

"Ugh, I can't stand another minute of this. Rick, Lillia, Pop... over here," Karen dragged her three companions over to an empty table.

"Go Chicken?" Popuri questioned politely and produced a pack of cards from her pocket.

Karen shook her head. Popuri, Lillia and Rick divided the cards and started flinging cards at each other at top speed, occasionally stopping to ask, "Do you have 'Mud the Underground Chicken'?" or something along those lines.

She sighed and turned away, only to see Matt lounging around the tables, looking bored. Karen walked over and smiled.

"Hey. Aren't you supposed to be with Doctor or something?"

"Nope,"

"Well, at least you're wwearing something other than your overalls today," Matt looked down at his T-shirt and trousers lazily as Karen said this.

"Hmm-hmmm," He didn't seem the least interested in Karen. "Do you know when Erica's coming?"

"No..."

"HEY, KAREN!" Rick dragged her back to their own table. "What're you doing, flirting with that Matt?"

"Nothing, it's just that... well, I wanted to," Karen replied, delighted at the fact that Rick was becoming angrier and angrier by the second.

"Why?"

"Look, I don't have to waste time hanging around a nerd. I'm going back," She floated back to Matt and tried to start a conversation.

Rick stood there, his mouth wide open.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Please, Gray, don't make me!"

"C'mon, just go in... they won't laugh at you or anything!" Erica and Gray were arguing in the bushes.

"Look, the sooner you go, the sooner you can get it over with!" Gray sighed.

"I guess you're right... as usual," Erica gave in and inched out of the bushes, Gray behind her.

"Here I go," Erica pushed open the door and everyone stopped talking. She had chosen a short, white dress that afternoon, white sandals and wore her mother's locket for luck. She even twirled two pink ribbons in her straight blonde hair, which was almost impossible but achieved by using a ruler, toothpicks and popsicle sticks.

As if nothing had happened, she walked to over to the counter and sat down on a stool, Gray next to her.

"See?" he nudged her as people slowly resumed their conversation and turned away. All except Matt.

"Wait... what's going on between them?" He asked Karen suspiciously, rubbing his chin. "They're not dating or anything, right?"

"Um, it seems like they're just friends," she stuttered a reply, taking a sip of the wine that Ann had given her.

Just then, the door flew open with a bang. Mary dashed in, waving a few books around.

"Woohoo! It's done! I've finished 'The Attack of the Jellybeans'!" she shrieked, handing out free copies to all the girls.

"Wow! Great job, Mar!" Popuri congratulated her.

Mary pushed up her glasses and shrugged. "Aww, it was nothing,"

"It _is _something! 589 pages of Jellybean madness!" commented Erica, flipping through the book.

"I'm selling it over MTBay to this publisher-editor guy! He wants to read it!"

Matt turned to stare at Erica again. That smile... the hair... that voice...

He reached into his sock (like doctor) and pulled out a Turbojolt. He yanked off the cap and gulped it down, sighing. It was no wonder that thinking about Erica always made him feel faint.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oooh... Erica doesn't know that Matt likes her yet... or that Gray likes her... Is Karen gonna like Matt? Is Rick gonna do anything stupid? ARE THEY REALLY GONNA FEED THE FUNGUS TO THEIR CAT? Find out... in Chapter 19.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	19. Ann Steps In Rick's Juice, And Cats Puke

Heh heh. Love the party. May the force be with you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Karen sat by the bar and gulped down bottle by bottle of wine. It wasn't everyday that she got to drink this much, which was most likely because Sasha and Jeff weren't here.

"A-ah... Another, p-please," slurred Karen, setting her empty bottle on the bar. She had already finished five and was still going strong. Doug sighed and handed over another bottle.

"200G please, Karen," He held out his hand for payment. Karen, in a drunken stupor, set down her purse on the counter and told Doug to keep the change as she staggered off to another table. Dough shook his head and withdrew the 200G from the wallet.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on, little inferior life-form..." urged Ann, prodding the bowl of yellow-spotted mushrooms to her cat, Eon.

"Let me demonstrate, my child," He pushed Ann away, picked up a mushroom, and began to chew on it in a thoguhtful way. Then he looked towards the cat. "It's not bad, hair-covered mammal," Eon meowed and hid in the corner of the room, and attempted to claw up the wall, failing miserably (mangaging to peel off bits of solar system wallpaper).

"May the fungi have mercy on your soul, little kitty," whispered Erica, looking at the shuddering creature from the corner of her eye as Ann force-fed it a mushroom.

"It's gonna be coughing out hairballs for days," Matt walked up to her and pointed at the enormous tennis-ball sized hairball it just spat out. Ann and Doug cringed and decided to give up.

"Someone should call the SPCA," laughed Erica, sipping pineapple juice with a straw.

"I thought you were with Gray?" asked Matt, sitting next to her at the table.

"Oh, he's allergic to drinking straws," Erica pointed at her drink. "Especially bendy ones. His father got impaled by one, so now he has this weird trauma,"

"Very sad, very sad," Matt shook his head and sympathized with him. "So, what gift are you using for the gift exchange?" He asked casually, changing the subject. Erica spat out a large gulp of pineapple juice that she had just sucked up. Matt just looked disgusted but hid it by laughing nervously.

"There's a _gift exchange_?" Erica banged her cup down on the table, making a sickly yellow juice slop out of the sides of it.

"Yeah, you know, the thing where you have to draw the numbers, and well... You _should_ know the procedures," Matt tried to act don't-carish, but his fingers clenched tight around the necklace in his pocket that he had Saibara make for him just a few hours ago.

"Oh _great_! I've got _absolutely nothing_!" said Erica, using excessive amounts of italics. Then her face lit up. "Oh yeah! I _do_ have something!" She dug around inside her purse, and found a silver ring. :This was my father's," She explained. "Before the..." She gulped as a lump formed in her throat. "The earthquake,"

Matt handed her a hankerchief which she blew her nose in. She handed it back but Matt told her to keep it. "Well, you don't _have_ to talk about it," he comforted, hand still gripping the necklace firmly.

"But it feels _so_ much better to tell someone," sniffed Erica. "Like I told Gray,"

"Oh," replied Matt, unsure of what to say.

"Anyway, Matt, I'd just like you to know that you're not as horrible as I thought you were," admitted Erica, stuffing Matt's hankerchief into her purse.

"Er... Well, same for you,"

"Anyway, let's just work hard on the farm together, okay?" Erica smiled, not noticing the dreamy way Matt was staring at her.

"Yeah... Sure," He snapped out from his daze, and agreed immediately.

**"Inferior mortals, I would like to bring to the attention of you all to this large box here. The gift exchange starts in a few minutes,"** announced Ann, standing on the bar, much to the disdain of Rick, as she had currently stepped in his grape juice.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damn. Thank goodness the soppiness hs ended.


	20. The Nerd Song

To Sarah303: Yeah, it's kinda weird... but WHO CARES? Fine, maybe I **do** care, but... BTW, my lousy Internet connection prevented me from adding new chapters for the past (insert number here) days!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Noooooo! Please, don't make us!" pleaded Anna, Basil, Doctor, Elli and a very confused cat (which coughed up a large, purple hairball). The five were on the second level of the Inn, inside an empty room.

"Read!" snickered Mary evilly. "And tell me what you think!" She (somehow) managed to find a whip and cracked it around everyone's ears, cackling.

Ann (whose foot was soaked in a purple substance) passed around copies of 'Attack of The Jellybeans' to the five slaves while Mary used her whip and herded them into a circle.

"Great! Now let's see..." she flicked through a dusty book (whose cover read in ancient, celtic letters 'How to Make Your Book a Bestseller Using Ancient Black Magic') and coughed,"U))$#MRED(&(,"

"What did she say?" Elli asked questioningly.

"Infantile humans, translation will begin," Ann cleared her throat. "Draw a star around your four unwilling servants plus an animal (they should be sitting in a circle), each holding a copy of your book. Do not hesitate to attack them with a pointy fork if they do not listen. Please refrain from murdering any of them. After that, light five candles and place them in the middle of the star. Blow out all lights except the candles. Unleash a raging elephant into the room and make it sneeze on the slaves five times. A bull or a cow may deem a suitable substitute. Beep. Translation has ended,"

"Well, alien! Get to work!" commanded Mary. Ann gave her a curtsy and proceeded to use a piece of chalk to draw a star around the five Mineral Town inhabitants. She managed to retrieve five (lighted) candles from her overall pocket and proceeded to place them in the center of the star.

"Master, I shall be stealing the cow now, Father, do not start the gift exchange without me, beep," Ann said in a monotonous voice and exited the inn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How come I get the feeling that four people an and animal are being tortured by one of my friends?" Popuri asked, shuffling the Go Chicken cards professionally.

"Oh, shut up," muttered Rick, still pissed off at the fact that Karen called him a nerd. "I'm not a nerd, am I? No, I'm not, am I? Maybe I am, half-nerd... no waait, I'm cool, not a nerd not a nerd..."

"Have you forgotten the time when you were five, during the cooking festival, when you and Doctor climbed onto the tables -" Popuri started but was rudely interrupted by Lillia.

"Squishing your muddy boot into my Mushroom Rice," she hissed.

"- and both of you admitted, very loudly, that you were nerds through and through, nothing could change that, or something..."

"I did?"

"Yep, I still have the recording cos' I was experimenting with the new tape recorder! Wanna listen?" Popuri pulled out a voice recorder and hit the play button.

_"We're nerds.. krkkl... books_

_Through and ...krkrklr through_

_We're better than you!_

_Nerds... cool_

_Krkrl... klkrkrk... drool_

_Studying's our life_

_Better... krkl than pie_

_Nerds rule_

_Nerds rock_

_Nerds... krkrkrl fly_

_We won't... die..._

_La, la LAAAAAAAAAAH!"_

"That was the part where you fell off the table," Popuri giggled and stopped the tape. Rick didn't say anything, but stomped out of the Inn.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

W00T. Well, finally finished this one.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	21. Daisy the Cow

REVIEW! REVIEW! -foams at mouth-

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ann hummed a haunting alien tune to herself as she sauntered down the road to Barley's farm, recalling the events that had happened in the latest alien movie she and her father had watched together, 'And Then They Ate Me!'. She turned the corner and bumped into a dark figure.

"GAH! I'm soooooooooooo sorry! Aaaah! What horror! I, in my most evil self, has bumped into someone! I have done a grievious deed! I have sinned! I must confess!" Ann heard a familiar voice gasp and shriek. As the figure rushed off towards the church, she used her extendable arm (that came with the costume) to pull him back.

"So it _was_ you, Cliff!" said Ann, grabbing on to his back to stop him from running to the church as he always did for any little thing, be it stepping on someone's doormat or dripping sweat onto someone's carpet.

"Aaaah! My name! Does it cause you any trouble to remember my filthy, worthless, sinful name?! Forget me, for I am indeed useless, for I have sinned yet again! Just yesterday, I accidentally dropped a cookie crumb in Thomas's house! How careless! A crumb! It has soiled his house, and it has soiled my name! Alas! I have sinned!" ranted Cliff, trying to escape Ann's grasp and run to the church.

"I order you to come with me, mortal!" commanded Ann in a robotic voice, and her eyes glowed red in the darkness of the night.

"Y-yes, ma'am," whimpered Cliff, and followed Ann silently into Barley's farm.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Snr... snrrt..." snored Barley, as he slept on his back, mouth wide open and a long strand of drool trickling out of the corner of his mouth.

"Shhhh!" hushed Ann, as she peeped through the window of the farmhouse. Detecting no movement, she silently crept over to the barn, kicking Cliff sharply as he attempted to say something about how sinful he was. She hung a clump of fresh grass on a fishing pole that had suddenly appeared, and hung it through the window as she signaled to Cliff to open the barn doors.

A cow (named Daisy, by the way), which always kept to her bed at the window, opened one eye. To her surprise and utter delight, instead of chewy fodder, she found a large clump of freshly-picked grass slung through the window. She stuck out her jaw and tried to take a bite, but the pole was too quick for her, and it jerked swiftly out the window, just out of Daisy's reach. Seeing no harm in trying to get it, she hoofed her way over to the door, which was, luckily for her, wide open as Cliff whimpered behind it. Half-asleep and relatively hungry, she trudged out of the barn and over to where the grass was. It seemed to keep on moving, but Daisy, who was not one to give up, followed it faithfully till they came to the inn's doors.

Ann opened the doors wide, and with a large grin, she kicked Daisy in one smooth motion, sending her swiftly into the room and up the stairs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Barley was taking the theft pretty calmly, after being woken up by Cliff screaming,"I HAVE SINNED! I HAVE SINNED!"

"One day I'll install them new-fangled contraptions, those... gates. Yeah," murmured Barley as he went back to sleep after shoving Cliff into the fodder tank.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I wonder when the gift exchange's starting..." mumbled Erica after an hour had passed. Ann's estimation powers were terrible.

"Yeah! It's been two whole chapters already, and the only excuse Ann's given us is that she had to fetch a cow!" complained Matt, handing Erica her seventh cup of grape juice.

"Speaking of which, I just saw a cow fly across the room and up the stairs," Erica commented, pointing at the stairs and downing her drink in one gulp.

"I wonder what they put in your grape juice," Matt shook his head and sighed. "Must be some weird alien thing again,"

"I think I'd better check on the cat," said Erica as she heard the cat hack up another hairball.

"Bring it to the SPCA," called Matt as Erica walked up the stairs.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	22. Chicken Rituals

_Sorry for the long wait! There were exams... gah. BTW, we based Cliff's personality on the Okami and Ritsu Sohma from Fruits Basket._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

As Erica trudged up the creaking wooden stairs, she noticed a faint glow of purple light and evil cackles bouncing off the walls. Shrugging, she made her way up only to see Mary cracking a whip at Anna, Basil, Doctor and Elli, who were busy bowing down to her, screeching "Have mercy!" An indifferent Ann was leaning against the concrete wall, playing her newest game ('Planet Cheese') on her flourescent green Alienator DS.

"Er..." Erica coughed, and Mary turned around, a scary glint in her eye.

"Aha! Another victim, eh? Help me with this spell, and I just might mention you in my autobio!" she snickered, cracking her whip against one of the cat's hairballs, which bounced off the banisters, down the stairs, and into Matt's drink.

"R-right..." Erica grinned sheepishly and inched down the stairs.

"Ann! Get her!"

Ann stopped poking her Alienator DS with a stylus (neon orange with blue spots, inscribed with 'I Heart Aliens') and her eyes glowed red.

"Yes, master," she answered in a monotonous voice, and stomped eerily over to Erica.

"EEEEEEEEK!" she shrieked, and flew down the stairs, ran around the Inn a few times, and ran back up the stairs again.

"Uhhh... what just happened?" Mary scratched her head.

"Nothing," blurted out Erica, who ran down the stairs.

"Strange... now, let out the raging cow, Ann!" Mary commanded.

Ann opened one of the room's doors and a very, very, very, very, very, _very_ angry Daisy stomped out of it, due to the fact that Ann had taped a large field of grass (wallpaper that Doug had bought for one dollar at an unpopular Chinese restaurant) to the ceiling, and she had spent a hard time pretending to be a rabbit to reach it. Which she didn't, of course. So now she was _**mad**._

"AAAAAAAAAH!" screamed the victims (including the cat), and slid down the banisters one after another, squishing Saibara's cup of whisky, crushing Manna's wine bottle, splattering Martian salad all over various inhabitants of the town, destroying one of Rick's chicken Barbies; and the cat lost one of its nine lives.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt cupped his hand around his ear.

"Did you hear anything?" he asked Doug, who shook his head.

"Your hearing deteriorates during old age,"

"But I'm only nineteen!" protested Matt, gulping down his drink. His face lit up. "Boy, this is goood stuff! One more round!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erica was hiding in the space under the stairs (which was very big, by the way, due to the fact that there were very wide stairs) and tripped over something. She fell, and landed on something hard, which squeaked a muffled,"Don't let that straw near me!"

"Gray?" Erica pulled the spluttering lad up and sat him down on an old chair (with the words 'Aliens rule, humans drool' embossed on it in fancy script).

"Erica? Ha ha, that's right. Very funny... hur hur..." muttered a dazed Gray before passing out.

"Sheesh! Fainting over a straw," Erica picked him up by the wrist and dragged him over to Saibara.

"My whisky! Grrrr... them young ones show no respect for their elders!"

"Saibara!" Erica called, stuffing Gray into a similar chair next to his grandfather. "Special delivery!"

Saibara huffed a reply and stormed his way over to the counter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Noooooo!" sobbed Rick, as the head of his Chicky Chick Barbie got squished by Saibara's boot. Popuri handed him a leg and an arm, the only remains of what had been crushed under the Doctor's butt.

"Well, it's just a doll. And I'm the one whose supposed to be collecting dolls, not a boy like you!" reasoned Popuri.

"You don't understand! It was limited edition! I ordered it from a chicken ritual in the Amazon! There are only like, what? Two in the whole wide world! ANd you expect me not to be sad? How can I? You people just DON'T UNDERSTAND..." wailed a hysterical Rick.

"Idiot," muttered Matt, who was watching the scene from where he was sitting. "This just keeps getting better and better..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_No, the last sentence doesn't mean that Matt is evil!_


	23. A Flash Of Lightning

Sorry for tha long wait.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matt and Erica walked over to where Saibara was poking Gray with a chopstick. The unconscious boy was sprawled on the floor and had faintied (again) after glancing at the straw dispenser on the counter.

"Sheesh! What a weird fear," mumbled Matt, drinking his wine while he continued to watch Saibara prod his grandson.

"It's just trauma," Erica replied. "Poke him harder, Saibara! You need to jab it in _really_ hard. Hide the dispensers first,"

"Hmph. He was always an easily-scared lad," shrugged Saibara, who seemed to have lost all interest in waking his grandson up and had instead put the chopstick in Gray's mouth. "By the ways, Erica, how're you doing with Gray here?" He grinned eerily and nudged Erica. _Hard_. "It's all around the town, so what've got to say for yerself?"

"Me? With him?"

"She? With him?"

They both replied at the same time.

"What? What did I say?" asked Saibara, trying to look innocent. "Don't tell me you've already got a boyfriend, _Erica?_" He raised his eyebrows. After hearing that, everyone in the inn turned their heads and stared at Erica, who fumed.

"Who the _hell_'s been spreading rumors? Why, I oughta..." Erica strangled an invisible neck. Her face was blushing furiously, and she glared at Matt.

"I didn't know! No, really, it wasn't me!" Matt backed away into the corner. He then smoothened his shirt. "But I _would_ like to be your boyfriend," Everyone in the inn struggled to keep a straight face.

"Stop joking already!" Erica smacked his head with a large fan that appeared from nowhere.

"I'm perfectly serious," Matt said, rubbing the throbbing bump on his head.

"I'm leaving," Erica flung open the door of the inn and stomped out.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The night was cold and dark for Erica. Matt didn't come back, but what did _she_ care? A flash of lighting pierced the sky outside the window, and a loud rumble of thunder startled her. She curled up in the blankets. Erica tossed and turned, but was never able to sleep. Finally, she got out of bed. She grabbed an umbrella, and set off for the chicken house.

"Snnrt..." The gentle snores of Grow filled the empty chicken house. Erica gave her a small pat on the head. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she sensed a figure move.

"Who's there?" called Erica shakily. She trembled in fear. Gripping onto the dripping umbrella tighter, she brandished it unsteadily like a weapon.

"E-Eri...Erica...Erica!" A voice whispered croakily. A flash of lightning was all Erica saw before being plunged into total darkness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Betcha don't like cliffhangers.


	24. Fainting

_Ahh, yes, the exams are OVER! I can breathe, I can sleep, I can play the com again!_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gah... what... happened?" Erica opened her eyes and stared at the starched white ceiling. Light was pouring in from the room through an open window. Erica rubbed her eyes dreamily and stared at the familiar room. Where had she been here before?

"Erica! Oh, you're up!" cooed Elli, who had poked her head out from behind the curtains.

Erica sighed. She hated the hospital.

"What - wait, I mean, who brought me here?" she asked kicking off the heavy wool blanket.

"Um..." Elli pointed to a snoring Matt, who lay fast asleep against the wall. "He said something about you passing out yesterday,"

"So now... it's the 23rrd?"

"Yep,"

"Oh my god, Grow! I forgot to feed her, please don't be mad!" muttered Erica as she jumped out of the bed. As she passed Matt, she gave him a huge kick in the shin. He rolled over lazily and mumbled,"Mommy,"

"Grrrr... at least think about the animals!" Erica smacked the indifferent Matt on the head with the same huge fan she had used in Chapter 23. "It's all your fault!"

Snarling, Erica stomped out of the hospital.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Drat it all! The fodder tank's empty!" cursed Erica, feeding bits of stamped-on chicken feed to Grow. The chick toddled around noisily, chirping.

Erica stood up and brushed some straw off her overalls. Grabbing the two chickens, she flung open the door leading out of the coop and placed them outside. Sighing, she made her way to the Poultry Farm, where she hoped wasn't 'Chicken Worship Day'.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Congratulations, Erica! It's Chicken Worship Day!" exclaimed Popuri, in a large Chicken suit. "Since you're our first customer, you get ten free bushels of chicken feed! Oh, and this exquisite Chicken Watch! It's worth 50,000G! But I'll sell it to ya for 49,999G!" she added, contradicting herself. "So whadda ya say?"

"Eh, no thank you. I'll just take the fodder," whispered a shocked Erica, surprised that her nightmare had becoma a reality. "I really should be going now,"

Erica wrenched open the door and dashed out. She headed to the beach to find some grass she could ship, and passed Yodel Farm.

"OH NOOO! I STEPPED ON SOME FODDER! I HAVE SINNED! GOD, PLEASE FORGIVE ME, FOR I HAVE DONE A GREAT WRONG! WHAT WILL BARLEY SAY? BUT I MUST OWN UP TO MY OWN ACTIONS, FOR THE SIN WAS MINE AND MINE ALONE, AND NO ONE ELSE'S! WHAT IF HIS COWS EAT THE FODDER THAT I HAVE TRODDEN ON WITH MY FILTHY FEET..."

Erica jumped in surprise and headed towards Yodel Farm, where a frantic ranting seemed to be emitting from the fodder bin.

"THEY WILL BECOME SICK, AND IT WILL BE ALL MY FAULT, FOR I HAVE SINNED! SINNED! FORGIVE ME, I MUST CONFESS, BUT ALAS, I AM TRAPPED HERE, AND I AM SINNING AGAIN!"

Erica opened the door of the fodder bin with amusement, and out came tumbling a dazed brown-haired boy, who was hyperventilating.

"Er, who are you?" Erica tapped him on the shoulder.

"I AM CLIFF, AND YOU HAVE SAVED ME! I AM FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU, FOR YOU HAVE STOPPED ME SINNING! BUT STILL, I MUST CONFESS!" Cliff rushed away but Erica caught hold of him by the collar.

"Maybe Ann'll know what to do with you," muttered Erica, dragging him along the pavement.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ahh, bliss._


	25. Sailing Boats

Hit the 50 review mark. W00T. I have also finally remembered that there was such a thing as a ruler (see below).

* * *

"Well, well, well..." smirked Ann. "What do we have _here_?" She put down the wineglass she was polishing and scrutinised the boy which was pushed in front of her. He whimpered. 

"A sinner?" squeaked Cliff, staring at his shoes.

"Thanks, Erica, I'll take it from here," Ann gave an evil laugh. Erica nodded and ran out the room. Nothing could stop Ann when in that dangerous mood of hers.

"Don't be too harsh on him, Ann!" whispered Erica as she creaked the door shut.

"Oh, I won't, _I won't_," She cracked her knuckles as Cliff made a noise which sounded like a cluck.

* * *

Carrying the bushels of fodder on her shoulder, Erica headed for the farm. There, she met a raving, mad Matt. 

"Arrgh! You stupid chicken! That's the tenth time you pecked me today! And at my ankles, too! You don't even _have_ ankles!"

Erica gave him a sharp poke in the back.

"Uh-uh-uh, Matt! No animal abuse!" she wagged a finger at him and tossed the bushels of fodder into his outstretched arms. "Bring that to the coop,"

"Uh... where do I put it? On the floor?"

"IDIOT!" Erica smacked him with the huge fan she had used in previous chapters. "You put it in the fodder storage bin! THAT'S WHY ITS CALLED A FODDER STORAGE BIN!"

"Alright, I get it! Sheesh!" Matt stomped away, grumbling.

"What. An. Idiot," Erica shook her head. "Okay, now back to work! Time to gather beach grasses!"

She cheerily made her way out of the farm, Grow trying to follow her but with no results, due to the fact that there was a large invisible wall which telepathically transmitted the words, 'Chickens aren't allowed out of the farm!' into the poor hen's small brain.

* * *

"Stupid, stupid, idiotic Matt! I can't spend a day NOT THINKING about what he's done wrong!" muttered Erica, grabbing some Yellow Grass and stuffing it into her rucksack. "And how can some worthless, yellow-tinted leaves actually be sold?" 

Erica grabbed the last of the grass and sat down at the edge of the dock, her boots lightly skimming the water. She stared out into the open sea.

"Some seagulls, a cloud that's shaped like a chicken, sharp, deadly rocks, a cloud that's shaped like Thomas's nose... oh. There's a boat... and it's heading right towards those sharp,deadly rocks. Ah, well," Erica sighed. "There's nothing else to do - wait. A boat?"

Erica stood up and indeed, on the horizon, was a small boat. Small, but nevertheless, a boat. _And_ it was sailing right towards the sharp rocks that decorated Mineral Town's beach.

"What the - we've - I've - oh, God..." Erica jumped up and down, hoping to attract the boat's attention. She cupped her hands around her mouth. "Hey you! Rocks! Helloooooooo! ROCKS! At the beach, you nincompoops! The BEACH YOU'RE HEADING TOWARDS!"

The late afternoon was quite hazy, and it was nearly sunset, making it almost impossible to see, but Erica could make out the silhouette of the small boat quite clearly.

She turned and pounded on Zack's door.

"HEYYYY! ZACK! BOAT! ROOOOCKS!"

The door was pulled open and Erica tumbled in.

"Whassamatter? People are tryin' to count turnips here!" Zack growled, obviously annoyed at Erica's sudden entrance.

"Well, there's this boat... and the rocks..." whimpered Erica.

"Boat? Where?" Zack grabbed Erica and they both dashed out.

"THERE!" Erica poked her finger at the approaching boat.

"Oh... heh heh heh... hwahwahwahwa!" Zack roared, slapping Erica on the back.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Oh, you'll see... heheheheheheheheh!" Zack replied, trying to stifle his laughter.

The boat expertly weaved itself through the rocks. In a few minutes it had reached the dock.

"Erica, hehehe... I would like ya to meet Kai," Zack said as a young man stepped out of the boat.

"Yo,"

* * *

Kai came to Mineral Town about five days early. Ummm... yeah, this is the 'theory' - in Kai's country, it's winter when it's summer in Mineral Town. So I guess his winter came early. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.


	26. Attack of The Tomatoes!

Gaaah... sorry if I haven't been updating. Yeah, a few months now. T.T It's not my fault my parents organised a 4-day trip to Genting!

* * *

Matt carefully packed down the bushels of chicken feed and left the coop, muttering about the unfairness of women. He strolled out of the farm casually, whistling.

BANG!

"Hey!" growled Matt. "Watch where ya going!"

"Sorry," replied a smooth, unfamiliar voice, making Matt look up in astonishment. It was a boy in a purple bandana, and tagging behind him was... Erica.

"Oh, Kai - that's Matt. He works on the farm we share. Well, actually it's supposed to be mine, cos' I bought it but suddenly he came and..." chattered Erica cheerily as she dragged Kai away from Matt. "C'mon, let's go grab a drink at the Inn, Ann's one of my friends, but she can be kinda weird... so..."

Matt could do nothing but stare at the retreating figures of Kai and Erica.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Inn...

"Heh heh heh... this is your final chance, Cliffy!" cackled Ann, holding up an unusually sharp chopper. "Well?"

"NOOOO! You will never make me!" bawled Cliff, pounding the floor with his fists.

"Heh heh heh... well it looks like your time has come!" Ann replied lifting up the chopper in an eerie manner.

"AAAGH!"

Ann dragged a screaming Cliff into the cellar.

"Now you have to spend the entire night here peeling potatoes! With this!" she smirked, holding up the chopper.

"Oh, that's easy!" Cliff heaved a hugfe sigh of relief. "I thought you were gonna -"

"SILENCE!" commanded Ann, causing Cliff to shiver in terror. "Did I say this?" Ann held up the chopper. "I meant this!" Ann stuffed the chopper in her pocket and pulled out a plastic knife. She thrust it into Cliff's hand.

"Now sit there while I cut these tomatoes with the chopper!" she ordered and proceeded to cut a juicy tomato into thin slices. Cliff sat in a corner and attempted to shave the skin off one of the potatoes.

"Ann?"

"Oh, customers!" Ann jumped up, still holding the chopper soaked in tomato juice.

Kai was lounging around in one of the chairs while Erica greeted Ann.

"Oh hi, Ann. Kai's here and - WHAT IS THAT THING IN YOUR HAND?" shrieked Erica, pointing at the 'bloodstained' chopper. "What exactly did you do to Cliff?"

"Oh, I just made him pay," snickered Ann evilly. She started licking the chopper with great enthusiasm, realising what she could do. "Mmmm... O plus,"

"GAAAH!" Erica promptly fainted.

"Uhh... Kai, I tink you'd better help," Ann looked over the counter and stared at the unconscious Erica.

* * *

Ahh. Tomato juice. 


	27. Rivers

_I AM SO, LIKE, SORRY! I haven't been updating for a SUPER long time cos' I was too lazy to... I mean, I had a lot of work. GAHHH! My humble apologies!_

* * *

"Oy! Erica!" Erica heard a male voice call her name as she tried to focus on the fuzzy purple thing she saw in front of her. 

"Wha-? Argh!" She clapped a hand to her head, which was throbbing uncontrollably. The purple fuzz began to take shape.

"This is Kai!" Eventually, the fuzz became Kai's head. "So, ya feelin' better?"

"I _would_ if you'd just move back a little!" Erica pushed his head back at sat up, propping her back against the pillows. She looked around. For the third time, she had landed herself in the hospital. Elli emerged from behind the screen, arms laden with medicine. She smiled, moving nearer and nearer to a petrified Erica.

"Well, look who we have here again?" grinned the nurse, with a glint in her eye. "It's medicine time!"

"Um... I'm feeling much better already, Elli, er- I don't think I need any- I only fainted so- **RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!**" shrieked Erica, jumping out of bed and heading towards the door. Kai looked confused.

"Why's she so scared? It's only medicine," he shook his head.

"Well, you look like a suitable substitute! You can take her place, then!" cooed Elli, gliding over to the door and locking it with a padlock she had conjured out of her apron.

"Uh... Well, I- I can't _really- _AAAAH!" Kai was silenced abruptly as Elli forced the Bodigizer down his throat.

* * *

"Why am I _always_ ending up in these weird situations?" sighed Erica, wiping her forehead as she dashed down the street. She stopped in front of the church. 

"Hmm... Never been in there before," she thought. Slowly, she pushed open the door. Erica stepped into the large but empty church hall. She noticed a small, hunched-up figure in one of the seats and walked over curiously.

"Uh..." Erica tapped him on the shoulder.

"I'M SO SORRY! AAAGH, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE LOOKING AT ME? I'M A FAILURE! I CAN'T EVEN PEEL A POTATO!" screamed Cliff, making Erica land on the floor in shock.

"When did Ann release you?" questioned Erica, pulling herself to her feet.

"I SNEAKED OUT WHILE SHE WAS HELPING YOU! I HAVE SINNED, I HAVE SINNED!" Cliff shrieked a reply.

BAM! The doors of the church flew open. There was Ann, holding a lasso, looking especially scary as the light behind her caused shadows on her face. She stomped over to Cliff, promptly lassoed him out of the chair and dragged him out of the church, without a word to Erica.

"AAAAAAGH!" Cliff wailed like a fire engine. "SAVE MEEEE!"

Erica could only shake her head and sigh. She made her way back home, only to be jumped on by what seemed like a shadow, and dragged into the bushes...

* * *

"That Erica! Always going off with some BOY! And leaving me here cleaning up after all her animals... not like I wanted them anyway!" Matt rambled on jealously. "I mean, it's not like that _Kai_ is anything special! He may be bald, and he has no taste, I mean look at the colour of his bandana... PURPLE, sheesh!"

Matt managed to scoop the worst of the chicken poop off his boots and attempted to wash them by the river. He bent down and took off his shoes. He was about to dip one of them into the water when he noticed something floating down the stream, resembling a human, occasionally dipping below the surface... he squinted in the bright sunlight and managed to make out a blonde head, blue overalls and a long rope wound around it...

It was Erica!

* * *

_Pweese don't kill us! Mind you, I've just had a shot on both arms and my left one is ACHING LIKE MAD. I wonder how I'm ever going to use my arms again. Sheesh!_


	28. The Return Of The Ring

I have tuition in about an hour's time... ugh.

* * *

Without thinking, Matt dived in and pulled Erica out of the water. He quickly unwound the rope around her and laid her on the grass beside him. 

"What kind of mess have you got yourself into now?" he muttered as he picked her up and dashed out of the farm to the hospital.

"Doctor! Doctor!" Matt half-screamed, and Doctor came rushing out of the room.

"What? Your cow's on fire?" Doctor panted, jumping up and down like a demented chicken.

"Yes, I mean, no! Erica... she floated down the river and nearly drowned!" Matt struggled not to punch him after that stupid remark.

"Well, put her on the bed!" reasoned Doctor, still hopping about while fishing in some drawers near the front desk.

"Cough, splutter..." Erica opened her eyes and spewed out a mouthful of river water. "Ugh..."

Doctor, Matt and Elli (who had just appeared) crowded around Erica anxiously.

"What? Why're you staring like me like that?" Erica sat up and shook her head to clear it. "Especially _you_," Erica stared daggers at Matt, who looked around innocently.

"Why am I here, anyway?" she questioned, looking at their concerned faces.

"You, er... nearly drowned!" Elli blurted out.

"Huh? But why?"

"You were floating down the river and Matt saved you... or something like that. Anyway, Elli, get the medicine!" Doctor ordered. "I'll just leave you here to talk," Doctor winked and pushed himself (and Elli) out of the room.

* * *

"What?" Erica looked at Matt, who had been staring at her for the past minute or so. "Get that look off your face!" 

Matt just sat motionless, an expressionless look fixed on his face.

"Anyway... let me just check if I have all my stuff..." Erica shuffled around in her pockets and emptied them. Suddenly, all the colour drained out of her face.

Matt seemed to have noticed the drastic change and sat up straight. "What?"

"My father's ring! It's gone!" Erica sniffed, frantically searching around the bed.

"It is? Could it have dropped?" Matt looked around the hospital floor.

"It could have floated out of my pocket when I was... in the river..." Erica cupped a hand to her mouth and started sobbing. "I'll have to go look! It's the only thing my father left behind!" Erica jumped out of the bed, dashed out of the room, and flung open the door of the hospital.

"Er-... ica..." Matt rushed out of the hospital but Erica was no longer in sight. He made his way to the farm and saw her splashing about in the river, tears still streaming down her face.

"I'll help you," Matt suggested and joined Erica in her search.

* * *

A few hours later, the 8.00 town bell had rung and there was still no sign of the ring. 

"Erica? It's getting late, maybe we should..." Matt turned around, only to find that he had been talking to no one. Erica was shuffling back to the house, sniffing.

Matt sighed at her pitifully. He scooted around the river, turning over stones and digging in the muddy soil.

"Argh!" Matt kicked the large rock he had been trying to overturn for hours angrily. To his surprise, it flipped over obediently. Underneath it, half-buried in the mud at the bottom of the river, was Erica's ring! Matt resisted jumping up and down in joy and washed it in the stream, before slipping it in his pocket, planning to give the ring to Erica first thing in the morning.

He strode back to the house and jumped into his bed, dreaming about the reward Erica would give him after he had returned it. Grinning, he slipped into a deep sleep and was soon snoring away...

* * *

_Wow. Longest chapter I've ever written. Maybe. I dunno. Sheesh. By the way, thanks for all the reviews! 63 (now)... W00T. Oh, and Scwibble is working on a Harreh Pottah story in some other account. So it will pretty much be Kittiefan for most of the chapters._


	29. Can Anyone Tell Me What Love Is?

_Kittiefan here. For the past month or so, I have been too busy... doing nothing. Doing nothing IS FUN! Anyways, my keyboard has suddenly reprogrammed itself so that the key has changed itself with the " key! And the swirly key has moved someplace else and left me with ¬! Plus, the hex sign becomes £ and I can't find the backwards slash key! GAH! And I've been working on my blog, anyhoo. full-moon-new-future. Name sounds dumb, yes. -.-"_

* * *

Erica sat at the edge of the dock, brushing the sand off her pant legs. The only remnant of her past was gone. Sighing, she fell backwards, only to land on something very, very solid and very, very painful.

"OWWW..." She groaned, rubbing her head. Looking up, she saw a sheepish Gray staring down at her.

"ACK!" Erica quickly covered her face with her hands - she didn't want anyone, not even Gray, to see the tough Erica cry, even though Gray had already seen it. "I mean, wha- what're YOU doing here?"

"I... always come here at 1.00 am in the morning," Gray said, with a totally un-sarcastic look on his face. Yep, it was real.

"Never - achoo! - Mind!" sneezed Erica, rubbing her hands together.

"Here, take this," Gray handed her his jacket, and sat down beside her.

"Thanks," Erica put it on gratefully and blew her nose in a dirty tissue she had fished out of her pocket.

"Anyway, what brings you - hang on," Gray inspected Erica's face more carefully - the eye region was slowly turning from red back to its original colour, and her face was glistening with tears. Hmmm... Erica looked beautiful even when she was crying. "You're crying,"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No - no - n - nww... WAAAAAAH!" Erica wailed and threw herself into a surprised Gray's arms. "My father's RING! Gone, GONE! Now I'll never be able to see it again! And - and... I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ANYMORE! It contained all my memories..." Erica's bawling drifted off to miserable sobs.

"Erica," Gray grabbed her by the shoulders. Erica looked up, tears streaming down her face. "You'll find it - don't give up,"

Erica inched back to her own seat and sighed.

"Yep... sorry about that..." She stood up and pulled Gray up with her.

"Sorry you had to listen to me... again," Erica said, her grey eyes meeting his bright blue ones.

"Ummm, it's okay," Erica's staring made Gray nervous.

"So... um, see you," Erica muttered, and planted a small peck on his cheek. Erica looked clearly embarrassed after that, and blushed a furious red. She then sped off, up the stairs to Rose Square.

Gray stood at the dock, a blank look plastered on his face. Blushing, he put his hands into his pockets and followed Erica up the stairs.

* * *

"HEY, ERR-II-CAAA! Erica!" Matt called as he saw Erica walk into the farm.

"What?" Erica mused, trying not to laugh at the enthusiasm cemented on Matt's face.

"Over here! In the house!" Matt pointed to the door and rushed in. "I've got a surprise for you!"

"I'll humor him," Erica thought, plunging her hands into her large, deep pockets and strolling casually into the house.

As soon as she stepped in, Matt brought out her father's ring.

"Oh my - How did - I thought it - But then I - You found - Then how - GOD!" Erica sprungat Matt, encasing him in a large, friendly hug.

"Thank you! Matt, you're the best!" Erica squealed, like a little kid.

"Umm... you're suffocating me," Matt pointed out.

"Name a reward - any reward!" Erica said absent-mindedly, kissing the ring.

"Uhh... this is embarrassing..."

"Well? I still need to get to Ann's house for the cooking contest, after the theme's been revealed! I'm borrowing her kitchen with Karen,"

"A... a... a..."

"Hm?"

"Kiss,"

* * *

_Oh yes! I found the swirly key! It was the backwards slash! W00T. Anyway, I took a long time writing this... -.-"_


	30. Love Disaster?

_I'm getting pretty addicted to Death Note. Youtube... CHAPTER 19!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! My dumb Internet connection can't load Youtube videos properly... SOB. By the way, Gray's eyes (source from DoubleKK) are supposed to be blue! SORR-EEE! But blue looks horrible on him - he's got sorta orange hair anyway. I've changed it, though. BTW, IT IS OFFICIAL. Scwibble has quit account. Kittiefan is now the solo owner. The end. Don't worry, Scwibble's new username will come out when I poke her with this MACE._

* * *

"A what?" 

"A kiss, um... yeah," Matt looked down in embarrassment.

"Oh?" Erica looked at Matt, a questioning look on her innocent (but usually scheming) face. "That I can handle!"

"Sorry I asked -WHAT?"

"Well... cos' you found my ring and all... Sure!" Erica replied.

"Um, then..." Matt's face turned fire-engine red, and steam was practically billowing out of his ears.

Erica leaned in and gave him a soft, sweet kiss on his right cheek.

"Bye!" she turned to leave.

"WAIT!" Matt cried, pulling her back by the shoulder.

"What? They're announcing the theme soon!"

"I... I..."

"Well?"

"I... r-really... like you... Erica," Matt stammered.

"WHAAAA?" Erica nearly fell backwards in surprise.

"Um... it's kind of... sudden, eh?"

"Like, duh!" Erica replied, her face almost the same colour as Matt's.

"I was just wondering if... you could give me... a... chance,"

"You?"

"Yeah,"

"Well... since you found my father's ring, saved me from death, and carried me to the hospital... well quite a number of times..." Erica scratched her chin thoughtfully.

"Sooo..."

"Okay!"

"Really?"

"Yep! But I'm warning you, you've got a competitor!"

"Huh?

"Gray! I've kissed him once too! Bleargh!" Erica pulled a face at him. "Anyway, I've gotta go! They're announcing the theme in five minutes!"

Matt stood in the middle of the farm as Erica ran off.

"Gray...?"

* * *

"And the theme is... **JUICE**!" 

Applause.

* * *

"Hmmm... juice, eh? Well, last year, it was foreign dishes, so I made a Venusian salad... but the Gourmet didn't seem to like it much..." Ann muttered, dragging Karen and Erica into her kitchen. 

"I've brought my own ingredients!" Karen brought out six opaque, air-tight, plastic boxes.

"That'll never fit in the mixer," Erica mused and got to work at creating her own juice.

"Guess I'll have to make something normal this year..." sighed Ann, grabbing some vegetables out from the fridge.

"You're making Vegetable Juice... " Erica noted. "Well I've got... THIS!"

She pulled out a bag of what seemed like tea leaves.

"Relaxation Tea Leaves! Won from the Harvest Goddess Gameshow!" She dumped the leaves into a pot full of water and lit the fire. "Sugar, Ann?"

"Right here," Ann passed her a jar full of sugar. "Karen are you done with the - WAAAAAAH!"

* * *

**_NOTE FROM AUTHOR:_**

**_CAUTION! The next cooking scene is GRAPHIC. VERY!_**

* * *

Karen was dumping tonnes of what looked like Sushi, Sashimi, Happy Eggplants, Buckwheat Noodles and Pickles into the mixer.

"C'mon, it's okay!" Karen stuffed the lid onto mixer and hit the button.

Soon, the 'Juice' became a brownish-yellowish goo. Karen poured it into a jar and clapped a lid onto it.

She got there too late, though.

The Inn was now filled with a yellowish cloud of stench.

"Am I allowed to vomit here?" Erica panted, trying to dodge the menacing clouds while holding her nose.

Ann shook her head and passed her a clothespeg. Erica wedged it onto her nose.

"By tea is done. Less's just hobe dat the sdink doesn't affect it," she muttered.

* * *

_Done! And it's Chapter Thir-teh!_

* * *


	31. Fish, Food and Purple Suits

_THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN IT - Scwibble has just quit the account. My pen name is now Kittiefan. Please read this. Avoid confusion. When Scwibble's SUPER LONG fanfic comes out, I'll tell you. SHE WON'T EVEN TELL ME HER USERNAME (YET). I've got THE MACE._

* * *

"Oh? You're entering the competition?" Thomas enthused, staring at the dishes the three girls were holding. 

"Relaxation Tea," Erica said monotonously, dropping the cup of grass green tea into the Mayor's hands. He barely came up to her waist.

"Vegetable Juice," Ann grinned and did the same. "And Karen..."

"Traditional Japanese Tea!" Karen exclaimed, pushing the bottle into Thomas's outstretched arms.

"Uh... right," Erica muttered and pushed Karen into a corner.

Erica stood next to Karen and leant against the fence.

_Matt... and Gray... should she choose?_

Well, personally she liked Gray more. But Matt... well, he was okay too.

"THE GOURMET WILL NOW TASTE THE ENTRIES!"

Thomas's squeaky voice jolted her out of her deep thoughts. Breathing in, she strode over to the judging table, where her entry was placed on a blue cloth next to others.

"Well, looks like there's a new contestant!" The Gourmet was a fat, fish-like man, wearing a purple suit. He waddled over to Erica.

"Uh... hi," Erica greeted him nervously. There was a glint in his eye that she didn't like.

As the Gourmet turned and left, Ann came up to her.

"The Gourmet doesn't go easy on first-time contestants," she pointed out, as he began to taste Doug's entry.

"Hmmm... I suppose it's okay..." The Gourmet muttered.

No one knew, but the Gourmet... wasn't a gourmet. He just sailed around different countries to get free food.

Next was Lillia, Manna... then soon it was Ann.

"Vegetable Juice, eh? How common..." smirked the Gourmet (Ann was surprised at how a mouth as deformed as _that_ could even speak). Ann nearly wished she had heaped pepper into the mixer instead of sugar.

"Glug... glug..."

"Well?" Ann questioned, her hands on her hips.

"Mediocre," he replied.

Ann nearly choked herself resisting the urge to strangle him. It was the same thing every year.

"Karen... uh," The Gourmet stared at the mixture in front of Karen.

"Don't be shy!" Karen poured the liquid down the Gourmet's large, open mouth.

A few seconds later, he fainted.

"What?" Erica shrieked.

"Don't worry, it happens every year. They forgot to put a ban on Karen. Again," Ann patted her on the shouler.

"Not that!" Erica yelled. "It's the fact that he fainted RIGHT BEFORE my entry!"

"Ah, well," Ann sighed.

Doug, Zack, Gotz, Doctor, Duke, Matt, Gray, Rick, May and Stu were trying to move the Gourmet, but no avail.

"I wonder why they even try - every year they're just gonna leave him there again,"

* * *

Erica stomped out of Rose Square and headed back towards the farm. 

"Why did I even care?" she muttered, picking up the eggs in the chicken coop. She pocketted one and stuffed the rest in the shipment box, cursing the Gourmet.

As she strode out of the farm, she found a note on the mailbox.

_Erica:_

_Meet me at the beach at 10.00 pm._

_- Gray_

Erica shoved it in her pocket, and went home to wait out the rest of the hours.

* * *

_Yippee - I've got the BoA Made In Twenty (20) DVD/CD!!! Woohoo. Here's a spoiler for the next episode: BROOCH._

_Well, not really. Anyways, I'm gonna end OUMT when Erica and are married. I'm thinking of doing a sequel. I have 31 chapters and I STILL HAVEN'T ENDED IT!!! Does anyone know if there's a chapter limit? Some people who have less chapters than me have 100,000 words. SOB. I only have around 20,000. AND I can only add chapters on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, Sundays and holidays._

_Funny how I'm thinking of a sequel when I still haven't thought how OUMT will end. ARGH._

* * *


	32. A Fuming Erica

I am not dead, thank you, Kittiefan. Neither have I quit the account. I was just using it for another fanfiction. Anyway, I have been busy with other nonsensical things, like proving Pick's theorem and writing a biography on dead people. This is Scwibble! (Kittiefan _should_ have consulted me about the previous chapter. It's obvious that time freezes in the house.)

_Shuddup, Pig's Theorum lover. BTW - Does anyone even KNOW how long this fanfic will be? After 31 chapters - FINALLY - it's the end of spring. This'll be going on for about two years... 245 CHAPTERS!?!?!? - faints -_

_WHO CARES ABOUT THE WHOLE 'TIME STOPPING' THING? It only occurs in stuff like humor fanfics. Oh wait... this is a humor fanfic. No, wait. WAAAAAAAAGGGAAAAAAAH! And BTW BTW, I'm gonna graduate after this year so I have loads of work to do, so I can't updaate thaaaaat often! Sorreeeeee!_

* * *

Erica woke up with a jolt. Apparently, she had fallen asleep. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and gave the clock a hurried glance. It was 9:50 p.m. 

"Omigod! I have to reach the beach in ten minutes!" She twisted the door open and flew out of her house, into Rose Square and down the stairs to the beach. Standing on the beach, highlighted by the glow of the full moon, was Gray. He was staring out into the ocean sullenly. Apparently, he hadn't noticed that Erica was behind him. She gave a giggle and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Eh... Oh, E-e-erica..." Gray turned around, stammering.

"Thought I wouldn't show up, eh?" Erica teased, sitting down next to him.

"Um... no," Gray's face turned bright wait. "But I'd still wait for you anyway,"

"Really? Well, get straight to the point," Erica replied. "I had to waste about four hours waiting at home..."

"Well... um, here," Gray pushed a silver brooch into Erica's palm. "I've been wanting to... give it to you,"

"Oh," Erica didn't know what to say. "Your skills have improved, though,"

"Um... yeah," Gray muttered a reply and blushed again.

"Uh... was that all?" Erica looked at Gray questioningly.

"Actually, Erica... I wanted to... to... t-t-t-t-t-ooo..." he stammered, stuffing his hands hurriedly into his pockets.

"Yesssss?"

"Um... I really, really... really-re-re-rrr..."

Erica stared at Gray, who was blushing a deep red. The gears in her brain (which hardly ever worked) clicked, and Erica knew what he was going to say.

"N-nothing," he finished.

"That's it?" she looked up, a half-angry expression pasted onto her face.

"Uh, yeah," Gray muttered, looking down.

"Well, fine!" Erica swivelled around and stomped up the stairs to Rose Square.

"Wa - where're you going?" Gray called, following her.

"Well, if you don't have enough courage to tell me you like me," Erica whipped around to face Gray. "Then I'm leaving," She added, trembling.

As Erica left the beach, Gray looked on with a blank stare.

* * *

The next morning, Erica got up early to feed the chickens, still fuming over the previous night.

"Hmph! Who likes a guy like that?" she snorted, and picked up a bushel of chicken feed. She stuffed it into the feed boxes angrily, until she realised that she had accidentally put it into the shipment box. Erica sighed and picked up another bushel, this time putting it in its proper place.

As she made her way out of the coop, she bumped into Matt, whom she snapped at angrily for not looking properly. Doing so, she smacked her hand against a fence and it started bleeding. Matt offered to bandage it but it only earned him another scolding. Erica went to the Hospital, where she shrieked at Jeff for having too many stomach cramps and Doctor for having too many plants. Then she screamed at Doctor for trying to bandage up her cut using a slightly yellow piece of cotton.

"Out of my way, you short, fat, excuse for a Mayor!" Erica growled at Thomas as he patrolled the streets with Harris. Thomas promptly burst into tears which only made Erica call him a crybaby.

As she trudged back to the farm, she bumped into Gray, the last person she wanted to bump into.

"Eri - " he started.

"Shuddup," she ended, then burst into tears and ran down the streets to the farm.

There, she met Matt, the second last person she wanted to bump into.

"Eri - " he started.

"Waaaaaah!" she wailed, then rushed into the barn and locked herself inside it.

* * *

_Finito! Blah, blah, blah Eraser Rain... LURVE that Death Note ending theme._


	33. Not A Chapter

NOT A CHAPTER

To all you OUMT fans, I AM SORRY!!!

I have my first **_important_** exam in three months and I need to study!

Also, I was too busy working on my animation - search MiekoMiyazaki on Youtube. For a five-second animation, I have to draw over 50 pictures.

Sooo... It might be reeeeeaaaallllllly long until the next chapter...

But, re-read and re-read it all the same!!!

- Kittiefan


End file.
